(Day 28 of the Fanfiction series.)
It was the third-last day of the challenge. The members had long ago given up the opportunity to thwart Heechul's challenge and, instead, had jumped whole-heartedly into the search for reasons to hate fanfiction. With SJ-M still promoting in China, the rest of Super Junior were in Korea, actually having to deal with the creator of the challenge.
Kibum happened to be sitting on the couch with said creator. A pillow hugged firmly in his arms and chin propped on the pillow, he glared sightlessly at the television before thm.
"Yah, Kibummie, don't worry about it," Heechul insisted,
"First Eunhae and, now, Haemi?" Kibum questioned, "When he joined SJ-M, I should've demanded I be put in the subgroup, too."
"He was just joking to get Kyuhyun to leave him alone," Heechul said as he aimlessly flipped through different channels on the television,
"Ugh, don't even mention that brat's name to me," Kangin muttered as he walked into the living room and sat on the couch adjacent to theirs,
Kibum, still glowering at the air before his face, glanced at Kangin, "What did Kyuhyun do to you?"
"Being him," Kangin stated, crossing his arms over his chest, "Acting all innocent and playing the perfect maknae... little do the fans know he's anything but!"
"Ah... what did those damn writers do now?" Kibum questioned, avenom in his voice,
Kangin blinked at the younger man as Heechul flippantly added, "Don't mind him, a new Donghae-pairing has been made."
Kangin nodded his sympathetic understand before answering, "All these writers think that Kyuhyun calls us 'hyung' all the time. I mean, we don't even call each other with honourifics all the time, but to insist that Kyuhyun does... well... that's just blatant lying, isn't it?"
"You all should call me 'hyung' after this challenge is done," Heechul mused,
"No one ever calls me hyung," Kibum sighed, as he hugged the pillow tighter,
"Be born earlier next time, then," Kangin suggested,
"Not even Henry... and certainly not Kyuhyun," Kibum murmured,
"What don't they do?" Eeteuk asked as he walked into the living room, a towel over his head as he rubbed his hair dry,
"They don't call me hyung," Kibum pouted,
"Hmph, I don't know why you're complaining," Eeteuk stated as he pulled out a chair by the dining table, turning it so he faced the other three members, "Nobody calls me Umma."
"Oh... my... Bu-" Kibum stopped when he felt something nudge his foot. He glanced at Kangin who simply shook his head.
"I know children like to rebel, but, really, to break your mother's heart like this," Eeteuk sighed as he used a corner of the large towel on his head to wipe at his eyes,
"Teukie..." Kangin sighed as he began to reason with the Super Junior leader,
"Yah, Kibum," Heechul murmured as he put the television on mute, "Want to see something funny?"
Kibum, who was still scowling, finally sat up straighter and nodded at the older man, "Always."
"Yah! Appa! Kyuhyun was bugging Donghae yesterday!" Heechul exclaimed,
Kangin's gaze swung to Heechul, blinking several times, "Did you... just call me..."
"Youngwoon!" Eeteuk exclaimed, jumping to his feet; "They call you 'appa' and they won't even call me 'umma'! You're turning our sons against me, aren't you!?"
Kangin sighed heavily as he looked back at Eeteuk, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"They're even coming to you for help!" Eeteuk cried,
"They're not coming to me for help. Weren't you listening? This happened yesterday," Kangin defended,
"But, Appa, you have to scold Kyuhyun. He almost made Donghae and Kibum fight," Heechul said innocently in mock-earnest,
Kangin glowered at his hyung, "Stop calling me 'appa'!"
"Don't talk to your son like that!" Eeteuk scolding, coming to stand beside Heechul who sat smugly on the couch,
"My son? He's older than me!" Kangin defended,
"This is why we have a broken home, Kangin!" Eeteuk cried, "This is why HyukJae can't have friends, the children don't call me 'umma', even Hongki doesn't know who his mother is! I thought you were beginning to acknowledge our children, but it seems like I was wrong!"
"Jungsu..." Kangin sighed heavily,
"And, now, Kyuhyun is hurting his hyungs by being disrespectful," Eeteuk sniffed, using his towel as a big handkerchief rather than for drying his hair;
"Kyuhyun's always like that," Kangin murmured,
"Then, it's our job to teach him better!" Eeteuk insisted,
"Appa!" Kibum chirped in a sing-song voice,
"Aish!" Kangin hissed, his arm flinching as if to attack the member,
"Don't you dare raise your hand to our son!" Eeteuk warned, moving to step in front of where Kibum sat,
Kangin pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Finally, he looked up at the leader, "Will it make you feel better if I talk to Kyuhyun about using honourifics? At least some times and not just when he wants something?"
Eeteuk slowly crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at the supposed 'appa' of the group. He raised a single brow, “Will you tell our children to call me ‘umma’?”
Kangin shot a glare towards the other members who sat behind where Eeteuk stood, snickering quietly. He looked back at the leader, “Just our… children… who are in Super Junior?”
Eeteuk chewed on his bottom lip, “But… But Hongki looks so much like you…”
Kangin truly feared that Eeteuk would burst into motherly-tears if he denied Hongki as being one of their children. A quick glance to Heechul and Kibum confirmed his suspicions that the two were close to imploding from holding in their laughter.
He sighed heavily, “What if I had Shindong write a story acknowledging Hongki as our son?”
Eeteuk’s eyes widened and shined with what Kangin was afraid were tears; “But… but… you won’t acknowledge Hongki?” He held his towel just below his eyes as if to catch any stray tears,
“I have Hongki’s number if you want to give our dongsaeng a call, Appa,” Heechul offered innocently,
Kangin, who was close to throttling the other member, threw him a venomous stare.
“Heechul! You’re so generous! I’m glad to see at least one of our children has learned their manners!” The leader cried, “You know, I bet Jaejoong doesn’t have these issues with their children…”
“Fine! Give me the damn number,” Kangin practically growled as he took out his own cellular.
He ignored the way Eeteuk beamed at him happily as Heechul called out the digits to him. Throwing one last glare towards Kibum and Heechul, he stood from the chair and began pacing away as Eeteuk took his spot on the couch. Heechul turned the volume back on, but him and Kibum were still able to hear pieces of Kangin’s conversation with the F.T. Island member; they were sure Eeteuk blissfully ignored it.
“Eeteuk’s gone momentarily crazy,” Kangin explained, “And I need you to call him ‘umma’ at least once.”
“What? No, not the others, just you,” Kangin stated, his tone slightly panicked, “I don’t want to have more children with him!”
Unfortunately, Eeteuk heard that part of the conversation and looked over with suspiciously expectant eyes.
(Day 29: feminine!Heechul pt 6)