(Day 18 of the Fanfiction series.)
Had it truly been 17 days since Heechul’s ridiculous fanfiction challenge began? Was it truly already the 18 day? Worse yet, didn’t that mean 17 complains had already been made by Super Junior concerning fanfictions? (Of course, that number did not reject the numerous times Heechul basically made the same complaint just in different ways).
For Eeteuk, he was ready to never read another fanfiction again. The challenge had, indeed, been enlightening to the group, but it was also causing so many problems. Shiwon was walking around holding a teddy bear now to give off a softer image; Hankyung refused to speak Korean unless under dire circumstances (apparently ordering food at a restaurant was not dire enough…); Shindong had some plans for new ships to spread to the fanfiction world (some including himself); and those were just a few of the repercussions the challenge had invoked.
On the eighteenth day of the challenge, Eeteuk and Eunhyuk were at the radio station doing their show. Kangin and Heechul were also present as guests for that day’s show. Whether that was a good or bad thing remained to be seen, especially since both members were behaving themselves.
It was during one of the commercials breaks when Eeteuk glanced at Heechul. Throughout the show thus far, Heechul had kept writings notes and he was curious as to know what those notes concerned, certainly not the show.
“Heechul, what are you writing?” He asked bluntly.
The question caused Eunhyuk and Kangin to look over at the older man. Heechul, in response, didn’t even look up, simply chewed the end of his pen in thought and then continued writing. “I’m thinking of requests.”
“Song requests?” Eeteuk blinked.
Heechul looked up then, exasperatedly rolling his eyes. He blew strands of hair from his eyes as he explained, “No, requests for stories. I want some fanfiction authors to write certain plots for me.”
“And you can’t just ask Shindong to do it? He’s pretty deep in the fanfiction world,” Eunhyuk suggested,
Heechul shook his head as he turned his gaze back down to the papers laid out before him, “No, Shindong refuses to write these kinds of plots…”
Eunhyuk blinked and then shook his head. Eeteuk and Kangin glanced at each other knowingly.
Then, Kangin sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, “Speaking of those kinds of plots… there’s been something I wanted to mention to you, hyung.”
Heechul paused in his writing, looking over at his dongsaeng, “A complaint about fanfictions?”
“Maybe… I’m still trying to figure it out,” Kangin explained, “So many fanfictions say Eeteuk and I have a son.”
“Eleven sons,” Eeteuk corrected swiftly, even as his attention was on his notes for the radio show, preparing for the next part. “Although, Hankyung says I can mother Henry and Zhou Mi too!”
Kangin waved away his words, “No, no… not sons in the group.”
Heechul’s eyes widened and brightened as he smiled, “Oh! Cross-group fanfictions? Who’s your son? Hongki from F.T. Island?”
Kangin’s eyes widened and then narrowed, “How did you know!?”
Heechul blinked and then slanted him a stare, “It’s sort of obvious… when I started hanging out with Hongki more, all I could think was: dang, Kangin and Eeteuk did good!”
Eunhyuk screwed up his face in disbelief as Eeteuk’s jaw dropped, “I have another son?”
Kangin glanced at the leader, “We don’t actually have children.”
“Heechul, give me Hongki’s number, I want to call him,” Eeteuk said, handing over his cellular so Heechul could enter the F.T. Island member’s number.
“He’s not actually your son,” Kangin hissed, glancing around at the crew members who were close enough to actually hear their bizarre conversation,
“I’m just saying hi,” Eeteuk defended when Heechul handed him back his phone.
“Anyway,” Heechul turned his attention back to Kangin, “Fanfiction writers always associate younger artists as our love children… one way or another. For example, Taemin from SHINee is always my progeny. Whether by Hankyung or by Shiwon has yet to be determined. In fact…” Heechul picked up his bag by his feet, pulling it onto his lap as he opened it, “I have some gifts for you guys.”
Eeteuk, Kangin and Eunhyuk immediately got suspicious, glancing at one another.
Heechul tossed to them black shirts with big, bold, pink lettering. One by one, they flicked out the shirts to read the words clearly.
“Team Hankyung?” Eunhyuk read,
“Team Shiwon?” Kangin added,
“What are these?” Both inquired at the same time,
“Merchandise! Fanfiction readers can buy them and wear them to show which they believe had a love child with me to make Taemin!” Heechul grinned,
“And you expect people to actually wear these?” Eunhyuk questioned just as Eeteuk pulled his on over his clothes. He blinked at his hyung before amending, “You expect people who matter to wear these?”
Heechul cocked his head before stating, “Well… they do. Jessica from SNSD asked for a ‘Team Shiwon’ shirt and Yunho from DBSK tells me he alternates depending who he’s talking to. I even sent two to Taemin so he can decide who his mommy is.”
“But… in fanfictions, aren’t you the –”
“If you finish that statement, they’ll never find your body,” Heechul’s eyes had narrowed at Eunhyuk, his tone low and deadly. “I’ll feed you to the fanfiction writers… Worse yet, I’ll tell Kibum you’re the one who’s spreading the ‘Eunhae’ love!”
Eunhyuk’s jaw literally dropped and remained silent.
Kangin was about to comment, when he heard Eeteuk speak on the phone, “Hello, Hongki? It’s your mother calling. What? No, no… your real mother!”
Kangin blinked at Heechul who was having a difficult time repressing his laughter, then glanced at Eunhyuk who had clasped both hands over his mouth. Kangin looked at Eeteuk. He crumpled a piece of paper into a ball, hitting the leader on the forehead with it.
“Just a moment,” Eeteuk spoke into the phone. He threw Kangin an annoyed look, “What? Can’t you see I’m talking to our son? Oh! He’s younger than Kyuhyun –”
“We sure as hell did not make that demon!” Kangin interjected,
“Hongki’s our baby boy!” Eeteuk beamed,
Kangin was about to reply, when he remembered his original comment, “Jungsu! Hongki is NOT really our child! The other members are NOT really our children!”
Eeteuk’s eyes narrowed slowly, dangerously as he removed his free hand from the phone’s mic, “Hongki? Can you do me a favour? Talk to your father.” He held out the phone to Kangin.
Kangin sighed heavily as he took the phone, “Hi Hongki? It’s Kangin… Yeah, that was Eeteuk. No, no, he’s not delusional… Well, he kind of is. You see, we were talking about fanfiction with Eunhyuk and Heechul and…” Kangin looked at Heechul, “Hongki says thank you for the ‘Team Hankyung’ shirt.”
“He’s welcome,” Heechul briefly nodded. He looked at Eeteuk, “Your son is so polite!”
“He gets his looks from Kangin, but takes after me!” Eeteuk exclaimed proudly.
Kangin and Eunhyuk exchanged an exasperated, knowing glance. Perhaps Eeteuk wouldn’t completely give up on reading fanfictions.
(Day 19: The Real Deal)