“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Another little word...

To my beloved readers,

Your defence of me is truly... well, I can't describe it simply beacuse I'm touched so deeply with all of your concern over the matter that has been taking place over the past few days. All your comments and words of encouragement have only further strengthen my dedication to serve you all better with my writing. Indeed, I think time to time writers lose sight of their connection from their readers, but you have all taught me what it is to be steadfast and loyal. For that, you all will always have my deepest gratitude and appreciation.

However, I believe this little fiasco has gone long enough. Words were said, feelings were hurt and we cannot go back and change all of these things. As I said before, it was a saddening thought that I had to defend and explain myself in such a way and, in truth, I had done so for all the wrong reasons. I wrote that post with anger in my heart showing more vulnerability than I should have allowed. Instead, I should have explained myself in a calm manner rather than laying my life before you all in a fit of childish defence.

I go from here living my life as I always have, but with two things greatly changed: The first is a more steady control of my temper. I had always known it was volatile and had always firmly had it reined in. Even though I was defending myself, I was still lashing out which is below me. I apologize for showing such an immature side of myself that I had thought long gone. Apparently my passionate anger is not so quick to control as I once thought it.
Secondly, I continue on with a deeper understanding and appreciation of you, my readers. Indeed, it was your faith and protection of me that soothed the wound as my temper boiled over. I had thought myself lost and on the brink of just giving up simply because I felt that if others perceived me as thus, then I have failed as a writer. You all showed me to be stronger, to believe in myself when I showed a strong front, but in truth, was weakening inside.

Let us all walk away from this without anger and dark feelings. I learned long ago that such emotions could build and manifest themselves in horrible ways. They take up too much time and energy in life when we should be enjoying the time we have left to us on earth. Let us move on and consider this just a hiccup along the road.

To Mireya, Ddangkoma2010, aidynmarie07, Miabella, hopeing11, Angie & Celina;
To Sarah, Lily & Hokum...
& to everyone who supported me...

I promise to be a stronger person in the future so that I am worthy of all of your kindness and generosity during this little issue.
I hope never to disappoint you all in the future.

Yours etc.

5 comments:

Hokum said...

Jiayo, fighting.

-ara- said...

omg..i think i miss a lot of thing..
Cheonsaaa fighting please..there're still a lot of your reader who loves you just the way you're..
Like me..hhehehe..i don't care how long i've to wait..as long as i can read your fic is enough for me..i even wait when you're on hiatus..
And just because you don't have any time to read other writer fic,doesn't mean you're bad..

FIGHTING!! Ganbatte!!

-ara-

Ddangkoma2010 said...

SARANGHAE, UNNI!!!!!! HWAITING!

Angie said...

*hugs*
saranghaeyo~! fighting! ^^

aidynmarie07 said...

I wish you the best of luck!!! Fighting!