[00r11] Unicorns, Physics and Super Junior

words: 1283
rate: PG
disclaimer: I don't own the game or SJ, unfortunately to both.

Dedicated to anyone who played and couldn't press mute nor stop.


He was addicted.

There was no way around it, no way to deny it. He had lost sleep over it, was missing meals and, quite frankly, had ignored all the other members for long periods of time simply because of it. And what was it exactly?

A video game.

Naturally.

Oh, but it wasn’t a normal video game, no, that was too mundane for this addiction. This video game was an online game that managed to be fail and win at the same time. The game consisted of controlling a robot unicorn with rainbow mane and tail that ran and jump across pieces of land, collecting points by catching rainbow-winged creatures and smashing through large, metallic stars. The further into the level one got, the faster and faster the unicorn ran until –

“GOD DAMN IT!” He refreshed the page rather than continuing on with his other two lives. A score less than 30 000 per life would not help him beat his last record.

“Kyuhyun! Don’t use the Lord’s name –”

“OH, GO TO HELL, SIWON-HYUNG!” Kyuhyun exclaimed angrily as he moodily pressed ‘Z’ to start the game, his left middle finger on the ‘Z’ button and his index finger on the ‘X’ button.

“Kyuhyun! You apologize to your hyung this instant!” Eeteuk’s command came muffled through the door.

Kyuhyun replied in what could only be described as a growl as he began to progress through the level with his first life. A part of him hated the game from a gamer’s point of view. Two controls? Who in their right mind would create a game with only two control options? Bastards. A part of him hated the game from a rational point of view. What kind of illegal medication were the creators on to even come up with this concept. And, yet, at the same time, he was still addicted.

“Kyuhyun! I don’t hear your apology!” Eeteuk scolded, the doorknob rattling as the leader attempted to enter the locked room.

Kyuhyun clenched his teeth until his jaw hurt as he lost another life from the unicorn jumping too high and face-planting into a downward protrusion of land. With barely suppressed frustration, he refreshed the page again, his score not high enough to warrant pursuing.

“Kyuhyun –”

“WILL YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN DESTROY MORE STARS WITH MY GOD DAMN ROBOT UNICORN!?”

Kyuhyun waited, the game’s music playing both mysterious and catchy. He knew the music was bizarre, but he tried playing in silence, he even tried playing with other songs on, but none of it worked. Apparently, the creators had made the perfect match of game to music because he couldn’t get into the game unless the stupid music was playing and a tenor was singing “Always, I want to be with you, make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony –”

“That is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard you - no, no, anyone - ever say…” The leader’s slow reply came.

Distantly, Kyuhyun heard the door opening. However, he was engrossed in another level, another ‘first life’ (granted, they were called wishes, but if that were true, he’d have beaten his highest score by now) and, thus, did not see as Heechul wandered in with the leader, the younger of the two replacing a bobby pin in his hair to hold back his bangs.

“I knew your lock-picking skills would come in handy even during the daytime hours,” Eeteuk said approvingly as they approached the gamer,

“He wasn’t kidding about the unicorn, but I don’t see any stars – oh, there’s one,” Heechul gestured just before the unicorn on the screen smashed through it.

“What is up with this game?” Eeteuk wondered as he watched the screen,

“No idea, but I like the music,” Heechul closed his eyes, his head slightly bobbing to the melody,

“One… more… star…” Kyuhyun barely whispered as he jumped from land to land, not a star appearing for a few seconds, “Just, one – WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Eeteuk and Heechul jumped from the sudden exclamation.

Kyuhyun watched as the screen changed from his damn robot unicorn smashing into a cliff to a purple screen showing a beheaded unicorn, “I hope you did die you useless piece of –”

“You’re talking to a game,” Eeteuk reminded tentatively, taking a step closer to the younger man,

“No, no, you’re talking to a unicorn game,” Heechul corrected, amusement drenching his tone,

“It’s a robot unicorn! Don’t you people have eyes? Geez!” Kyuhyun suddenly slammed his laptop closed, “Fucking robot unicorn and stupid stars and impossible-to-catch rainbow… Fuck, I don’t even know what those flying things are, but they’re stupid anyways.”

“They looked like fairies,” Eeteuk commented,

“I thought of butterflies,” Heechul offered,

“And do you know what makes the least amount of sense about this damn game?” Kyuhyun stood and turned towards his hyungs, his expression serious and dark eyes narrowed,

“That there is no such thing as unicorns?” Eeteuk suggested,

“Don’t say that too loud, Zhou Mi might cry,” Heechul murmured,

“No, how that damn robot unicorn is able to do a double jump in the air! How, I ask you – HOW!? He’s in mid-fucking-air and he manages to do a double jump just to reach that damn cliff. That’s impossible,” Kyuhyun stated angrily, “He has no support, nothing to push off of – THAT FUCKING UNICORN IS DEFYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!”

Eeteuk and Heechul glanced at one another before returning their gazes to the gamer.

“Out of everything in that game, that is what doesn’t make sense?” Eeteuk asked slowly, hesitantly.

Kyuhyun seemed to actually think out his answer. After a moment, he nodded once. Eeteuk blinked, shook his head and left without another word.

Heechul regarded the younger man a moment, “Perhaps it’s because the unicorn is a robot?” He suggested, his tone serious and considering,

“I suppose if it were to have some kind of hydraulics, jets or even some kind of air-pressure system that could account for the double jump,” Kyuhyun debated,

Heechul took a seat before Kyuhyun’s laptop and opened it up, “It’s the only logical reason. Why else would it be able to suddenly dash in mid-jump?” He opened up the game, “Are there seriously only two control buttons?”

“Yeah. Stupid, right?” Kyuhyun sighed, crossing his arms over his torso.

“Eeteuk said there were unicorns in here?” Zhou Mi’s voice came from the door, his tone full of wonder and excitement,

“ROBOT UNICORN,” Kyuhyun and Heechul corrected in unison without even looking away from the computer screen,

“Well, those aren’t real ones!” Zhou Mi’s dejected voice whined, the sound of footsteps signalling the member’s retreat,

Heechul played for a few seconds, getting a handle on the simpleton-two-control-system before his unicorn met its death view jumping into an overpass piece of land rather than dashing beneath it. “We should make our own game,” He suggested as he started his second attempt,

“We need something like unicorns so that other gamers will loathe themselves for playing even as they grow addicted,” Kyuhyun stated spitefully, his words and thirst for all things sadist coming from his own experience from the game.

“What’s like a unicorn?” Heechul asked after his robot unicorn was killed by a metallic star rather than vice versa.

They pondered the thought, Heechul absentmindedly playing the game as his mind began to work on two levels. When his robot unicorn died again, he sat there contemplating before he looked at Kyuhyun and a look of understanding came between them.

“Zhou Mi!” They both cried in unison, suddenly realizing the perfect mascot for their game.

Said member suddenly appeared in the doorway, all smiles, “Real unicorns?”


End.
...


A/N: Said game can be found here and there's also a Facebook app now.