theme: o37. Rotation.
(Sequel to Desires and Revealed Desires)
Kyuhyun had been a student at SM University for just over three months and yet he still wasn’t used to getting up and going to eight o’clock classes. He stood underneath the head of the shower as it poured hot water upon him in his attempt to wake up.
“You’ve been in the shower for half an hour,” he heard the door open and someone enter the bathroom, “Are you still alive?”
“Yes,” Kyuhyun said above the rushing water. He peeked out from behind the shower curtain, “Hankyung… what are you doing?”
Clad in just black slacks, his boyfriend stood before the sink and mirror combing his dark locks, “Brushing my hair.”
“Yes… but why can’t you wait until I’m done?” Kyuhyun asked as his eyes swept over him all the same,
“Because it’s a quarter past seven and I need to get ready - I can’t wait all morning for you,” Hankyung stated as he put down the brush on the counter and turned to face him. He leaned a hip against the counter and crossed his arms loosely about his bare torso, “Are you almost done? The rest of the apartment building needs hot water too.”
“Stop rushing me,” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes,
“My, aren’t we irritable in the morning,” Hankyung teased lightly as he walked up towards to the bathtub. He reached for Kyuhyun and took his chin between his thumb and forefinger, “But you know you’re going to be late if you don’t hurry…”
Kyuhyun let Hankyung pull him in for a quick kiss, “You know…” Kyuhyun began as Hankyung released his chin, “You could join me,” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow as he slicked back his wet hair with a careless hand,
Hankyung’s eyes darkened with desire at his words, “Don’t tempt me,” He said huskily,
“Just for a minute or two…” Kyuhyun said as he reached out and trailed a fingertip from Hankyung’s collarbone, down the centre of his chest and abdomen to his belt buckle.
Hankyung grabbed the back of his neck and pulled Kyuhyun against him, their lips meeting suddenly, “And this is why I don’t want you sleeping over on school nights,” He murmured against Kyuhyun’s lips, before pulling away and walking out of the bathroom,
“And you say I’m the tease!” Kyuhyun called at his retreating back.
At 7:40, Hankyung pulled his car to the curb and Kyuhyun got out just as his best friends - and roommates - came around the corner. Hankyung drove off towards the university ahead of time as Kyuhyun greeted his friends,
“He would’ve given us a ride if we didn’t leave his apartment so late,” Kyuhyun apologized as they began the six minute walk from their apartment building to the university.
“That’d be too suspicious,” Sungmin shook his head, “Don’t trouble Professor Han, it’s just a few minutes to the school from here anyway.”
“I told you, you can call him Hankyung,” Kyuhyun said, “I mean, I’ve been with him over three months, having you call him Professor makes it difficult to forget that he’s our teacher.”
“You could be dating him for three months or three years - it’s weird calling him that,” Eunhyuk yawned as he pulled out his headphones,
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “It’s weird calling him Professor.”
Two hours later, the three friends were sitting in their usual seats, halfway up the stairs in the Calculus lecture room. They watched as their professor - as Kyuhyun hated to call him so - answer a question that had been asked eleven minutes prior.
With three large whiteboards stretching across the front of the room, Hankyung had begun on the first and was now finishing on the last. Equation after equation, straight-lined and squiggly-lined arrows, parentheses and braces covered the three boards, all written from the top of his head, so neatly and organized. With everything he wrote, he explained what he was writing and why; he wasn’t considered the best Mathematics professor at SM University for nothing.
After thirteen minutes, he capped his marker, placed it on the ledge beneath the whiteboards and turned around to face his students. He crossed his arms loosely as his gaze found the student who had asked the question in the first place, “And that is why, Yunho-sshi, the number seven has no luck value at all.”
The student, Jung Yunho, who sat in the row in front of Kyuhyun, Sungmin and Eunhyuk gaped. He had begun to fall asleep in class when his friend beside him raised a hand and insisted that Yunho wondered if the number seven was indeed lucky.
Hankyung stared at him seriously for a moment until he ducked a flushed face. Hankyung fought back a smirk as he looked down at his watch. He knew his student was falling asleep in class, he knew when any student fell asleep in his class. He took a deep breath before looking back at his students, “Well, we’re seven minutes early, but you can all go.”
As the students started packing up and heading off to their next rotation of classes, Hankyung walked up the middle steps of the lecture room to the row where Yunho had sat, “Yunho-sshi, next time you being to fall asleep in class, make sure JaeJoong-sshi doesn’t plan to make a mockery of you again.”
Yunho nodded and bowed to him, all the while shooting daggers at his friend who stood beside him, talking to Sungmin. Hankyung watched as Yunho left the class and JaeJoong said a quick goodbye to Sungmin before chasing after his friend. Hankyung turned towards the three students who had sat behind the mischievous pair of friends,
“You prompted him to ask the question, didn’t you?” Hankyung raised a curious eyebrow at Sungmin,
Sungmin could do nothing but grin cheekily.
Hankyung chuckled, “I’m glad you guys are enjoying school.” He turned to head back down the stairs to his desk,
“Didn’t you enjoy school? I mean.. you are a professor now,” Sungmin asked as he slung his backpack onto his shoulders,
Hankyung stopped at the stair he was on and sat on the closest edge of the joined desks, “When I was in university I was five years ahead of where I was supposed to be.” Three jaws dropped and Hankyung couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He let out a slow breath before shoving his hands into his pockets and looked at them with a particular look in his eyes, “It’s hard to talk to people, connect with people when they’re nineteen and I’m fourteen…” He shrugged before giving them a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “It helped me keep my scholarship though, and with nothing to distract me, I finished university before any of them… So here I stand before you, nine years later.” He looked at his watch, “It’s almost ten - you’re all going to be late for your next classes.”
Eunhyuk snapped his eyes towards the clock on the wall and barely waved his hand as he bolted out the door for his next class on the other side of the campus.
Sungmin turned towards Kyuhyun, “Meet up for lunch?” Kyuhyun nodded. Sungmin turned towards Hankyung who had grown quiet. Idly fussing the straps of his backpack, he said tentatively, “You should come over and have dinner with us some time… Hankyung-sshi.”
Hankyung’s eyes snapped up from the ground towards him. After the initial shock passed over his face, his expression softened and he offered a small, grateful smile, “Sure.”
Sungmin nodded his head before saying goodbye again to Kyuhyun and sprinting off to his next class. Kyuhyun returned to putting away his books into his mailbag, well aware that Hankyung was watching him,
“The last thing I need is pity,” Hankyung said dryly,
“The last thing I’m giving is pity,” Kyuhyun replied as he closed his bag and slipped the strap across his shoulders. He locked gazes with Hankyung, “Can I come see you after my next class?”
“You’re meeting your… Sungmin-sshi for lunch,” Hankyung reminded,
“Then at the end of my lunch break,” Kyuhyun offered.
Hankyung resisted against it. He knew that Kyuhyun was upset after hearing about his own university experience and that was why he wanted to see him. It wasn’t like they had never snuck kisses and clandestine meetings between classes, but he didn’t want to meet with Kyuhyun just because of a sordid past he had put in the back of his mind years ago.
Hankyung opened his mouth to reject him, but then paused as he saw a look cross Kyuhyun’s eyes. He knew that look; the look that he was troubled, more so than Hankyung predicted, and he wouldn’t be okay again until he felt some peace. Hankyung sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and slipped off the desk counter and continued down towards the front of the lecture room,
“I’ll see you later,” Was all Hankyung offered as he began erasing the white boards. As Hankyung busied himself, he missed the look of hurt that crossed Kyuhyun’s face; his hesitance to leave the classroom and the look back over his shoulder as he walked out the door.
It was a quarter to noon when there came a knock on Hankyung’s office door. He called for them to enter as he sat in his office, leaning back in his chair, feet crossed at his ankles atop his desk, a new book of crossword puzzles in his hand. As the door opened and closed and Kyuhyun approached him, Hankyung took the pencil he held between his teeth and wrote down the answer to a clue.
He heard the soft thud of Kyuhyun’s mailbag hitting the floor and in his peripherals could see Kyuhyun close the distance between them. He raised his eyes from his book just as Kyuhyun leaned down and brushed his lips against his own.
“Kyuhyun…” Hankyung began, swinging his feet to the ground,
“Can you just kiss me?” Kyuhyun asked quietly, softly, his eyes half-lidded a he gazed down at him,
Hankyung wanted to say no, knowing that - despite what he said - pity drove Kyuhyun’s actions, if not pity, then misplaced sadness. However, as Hankyung stared back at him, he found he couldn’t say no… didn’t want to say no.
Hankyung reached out and took Kyuhyun’s slender fingers in his own and pulled him onto his lap. Kyuhyun gazed down at him as he straddle Hankyung’s lap, his one hand still held in Hankyung’s. Releasing his hand, Hankyung raised his hands to Kyuhyun’s face, cradling it.
Kyuhyun let Hankyung pulled his lips down to his own. Feeling his hyung’s strong hands hold the sides of his face so gently, almost like a caress, Kyuhyun thought his heart clench. Hearing Hankyung talk of his past had torn at him. He had seen the ghosts pass over Hankyung’s eyes, could feel the falseness of the smile he had given earlier.
As Hankyung’s hands moved to the small of his back, Kyuhyun automatically wrapped his arms around his neck, holding Hankyung against him. Usually whenever they were together as they were at that moment, it wouldn’t be long before they moved farther. However, this time Kyuhyun didn’t grow hard, nor did he feel Hankyung beneath him. But this time, it wasn’t about sex. This time, it was about a different kind of release.
After a moment, Hankyung broke the kiss and just leaned his forehead against Kyuhyun’s shoulder and Kyuhyun idly stroked his hair, both of their eyes closed, relishing in their contentment and peace.
Hankyung pressed his lips against his dongsaeng’s shoulder, “Thank you for coming.”
“Thank you for not saying no,” Kyuhyun replied quietly. He wasn’t stupid, he had seen the rejection forming on his boyfriend’s lips and his heart felt like it would burst every time Hankyung had decided against saying no. He opened his mouth to say more when the door suddenly opened,
“At least lock the door,” Eeteuk rolled his eyes as he closed the door behind him.
Kyuhyun immediately jumped away from Hankyung and suddenly interested in what was outside the closest office window.
Hankyung glared at his friend as Eeteuk sat down at a chair before his desk, “Don’t give me that look,” Eeteuk replied as he idly inspected his fingernails,
“You should’ve knocked,” Hankyung said darkly,
“You should’ve locked the door,” Eeteuk countered, “How have you two not been caught yet?”
“The door’s usually locked…” Hankyung muttered his reply, glancing over at Kyuhyun. He watched as his profile slowly pinked, still forcing his gaze outside the window.
Eeteuk looked up at him, “Yes, well… I think you should have a scapegoat to divert any attention that may come your way,”
“Scapegoat?” Kyuhyun turned around at that moment, leaning his hips back against the window sill and crossing his arms loosely about his torso, “What do you mean?”
“Well, have someone to back you up in case someone starts to wonder the relationship between you two,” Eeteuk explained, “For example, Kyuhyun pretending to be in a relationship with someone, or Hankyung pretending to be with someone.”
“And who would agree to pretend to be with me?” Hankyung asked, interested in the prospect of being able to hide their relationship more,
However, Kyuhyun felt differently. His arms were crossed tighter and a dark light entered his eyes as he stared at Hankyung who was looking expectantly at Eeteuk.
Eeteuk glanced at Kyuhyun, noticing the change in the youth’s demeanour immediately before answering hesitantly, “Heechul?”
Kyuhyun forced himself to keep his composure when Eeteuk said the name. Kyuhyun opened his mouth to suggest forgetting the idea when Hankyung immediately answered,
Eeteuk watched Kyuhyun with regretful eyes. Kyuhyun’s fists were clenched tightly as he brushed past Hankyung’s chair, snatched up his mail bag and stormed out of the office.
Hankyung got confused as Eeteuk sighed and shook his head, “For a Sociology professor sometimes I don’t know when to not talk.”
“Sometimes you have to remind me to think before a talk,” Eeteuk muttered, “Kyuhyun’s upset-”
“Obviously,” Hankyung interjected,
“You should go talk to him,” Eeteuk said lightly, leaning back in his chair,
“He’s jealous, I’m not stupid,” Hankyung said nonchalantly as he picked up his book of crossword puzzles again,
“And… you’re not going to do anything about it?” Eeteuk asked slowly,
“If I do something every time he gets jealous, he’ll never learn how to control himself,” Hankyung replied easily,
Eeteuk crossed his arms, “And you’re one to talk about controlling your temper.” Hankyung glanced up from his book questioning, so Eeteuk continued, “Was it not just the second day of school when you stormed into my office looking for Kyuhyun?”
“Yes… but it wasn’t because I was jealous…” Hankyung insisted,
Eeteuk gave him a slanted look, “Then how come a few days later you gave me the third degree on why he and I talk so amicably and why I told him to call me Eeteuk?”
Hankyung said nothing and reverted back to his crossword puzzles.
“Now, if YOU were feeling jealous, wouldn’t YOU want Kyuhyun to come after YOU and talk to YOU about how stupid YOU’RE being?” Eeteuk challenged,
“Yes - now stop emphasizing ‘you’,” Hankyung snapped,
Eeteuk raised an eyebrow, “I don’t see you going after him.”
“He has a class anyway,” Hankyung waved it off,
“I bet you 20 000 won that he’s going to skip the rest of his classes and go home. And you don’t have a class until tonight, so you have plenty of time to go and talk to him,” Eeteuk stated,
Hankyung sighed heavily as he put down his book and stood up, “You’re not going to leave me alone until I go talk to him, are you?”
“Not unless you want to start looking for a new boyfriend,” Eeteuk said in a light taunt.
Hankyung sighed as he grabbed his car keys; Eeteuk was right.
A few minutes later, Hankyung found himself at the door to the apartment Kyuhyun shared with his two friends. He had never entered the apartment, let alone the building should any of the other students see and suspect. However, under the circumstances, Hankyung was willing to risk anything.
With a deep, steadying sigh, Hankyung knocked on the door. When the door opened, it wasn’t Kyuhyun who answered the door, but Eunhyuk.
“Ah Professor Han,” Eunhyuk greeted with a bow, “Are you looking for…” He paused glancing out into the hallway,
Hankyung nodded his head in silent reply,
“He has class right now… I thought you knew that,” Eunhyuk stated confusedly,
“I do know that, I just thought maybe he didn’t go to class,” Hankyung explained with a frustrated sigh, “Thank you anyway,” he turned to head back towards the elevator,
“Um… if something happened between you two… maybe I can help?” Eunhyuk offered hesitantly. “With his understanding his side, anyway.”
Hankyung turned around, startled. It was the first time Eunhyuk had ever offered advice to him. Heck, it was the first time Eunhyuk was talking to him not as a professor, but as Kyuhyun’s boyfriend. Tentatively, Hankyung nodded and Eunhyuk stepped aside to let him in.
Eunhyuk asked Hankyung to take a seat in the living room and sat on the other end of the couch from him. Hankyung explained what had happened about the scapegoat plan and who it was to be. When it was over, he grew silent and waited patiently for Eunhyuk’s reply.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever realized… but Kyuhyun’s a very jealous person,” Eunhyuk began as his brow furrowed in thought,
“He must hide it well because except for one outburst I’ve never seen it in him,” Hankyung stated,
“You should’ve seen him at Jeju Island, let alone when we’re at school,” Eunhyuk stated,
“At Jeju?” Hankyung blinked,
“Sure, all those times we ran into you, half of it was because Sungmin or I would point you out and Kyuhyun would make it so we HAD to run into you. Even our last night at Jeju, I joked to him that he wouldn’t see you ever again after we left the island and how you were probably talking to someone else already,” Eunhyuk confessed, “When he found you in the bar, he wasn’t looking for peace and quiet. Actually, Sungmin and I went out to a dance club when he went to look for you.”
“He… never told me…” Hankyung muttered, still surprised at the revelations,
“Kyuhyun’s smart, he’s gifted… he has a lot of things to offer and be proud of; his jealous streak is not one of them,” Eunhyuk said matter-of-factly, “Of course he’d cover up the real reason for looking for you.”
“So when I agreed to the scapegoat plan, he got jealous and mad and stormed off,” Hankyung said, piecing it altogether.
“Well, I think not even the plan really got at him. I think it was more so the idea of seeing you with someone else, or hearing about your relationship with someone else that really got him going,” Eunhyuk explained, “He’s very possessive-”
“You mean protective?” Hankyung corrected immediately,
“No, I mean possessive,” Eunhyuk insisted in a matter-of-fact tone, “But he controls it well.” He paused before adding in a quieter, softer tone, “The issue is, while he’s controlling it, it eats him up inside.” Eunhyuk tilted his head slightly as he regarded Hankyung for a moment, “So… it’s a good thing you came after him.”
“Thank you Eunhyuk. It helps me understand Kyuhyun more, especially what he tries to hide from me,” Hankyung said with a slight bow of his head.
“I’m home - I couldn’t concentrate in class so I though…”
Eunhyuk and Hankyung turned their attention to the door where Kyuhyun stood. He pulled himself out of his shock, closed the door and continued to remove his shoes. When he moved to head straight to his room, Hankyung jumped from his seat on the couch and grabbed his wrist,
“We need to talk,” he said sternly, brooking no arguments.
Kyuhyun yanked his wrist from Hankyung’s grasp but remained where he was. Eunhyuk, knowing when he should leave, said his pardons,
“Thanks again Eunhyuk,” Hankyung said,
“Ah… anytime,” Eunhyuk stammered before adding, “…Hankyung-sshi.” And with that, he break-danced towards his room and disappeared within.
“He’s never called you that before,” Kyuhyun muttered as he brushed past Hankyung towards the kitchen, “You don’t have enough friends to flirt with you have to flirt with mine?”
“I wasn’t flirting with Eunhyuk!” Hankyung hissed as he followed him into the kitchen, “If anything, he was helping me understand you a little better since you refuse to tell me certain things.”
“Such as!?” Kyuhyun spun around, facing him suddenly, eyes flashing with anger,
“Such as how him and Sungmin weren’t really fighting your last night in Jeju,” Hankyung stated, “Such as how you sought me out that night so I wouldn’t seek someone else out.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “I’ll kill that snitch.”
“No, you won’t,” Hankyung defended hotly, “Because I need someone to let me know these things since my own boyfriend won’t tell me himself!”
“What do you want to know then?” Kyuhyun demanded, “Hmm? That I’m insanely jealous? That I HATE it when other students compliment you or talk about you or fuss over you? That I HATE it when someone is talking to you and puts a hand on your arm or shoulder? That I HATE it when you’re talking to someone else and you smile at them-”
“What’s so wrong about me smiling at people?” Hankyung questioned, startled at the confession,
“Because that’s how you make them fall in love with you!” Kyuhyun exclaimed angrily, his fists clenched at his side, shaking and white from effort.
Hankyung stared at him with wide eyes, “Kyuhyun… are you in love with me?”
“Why else do you think I’m going so crazy over you!?” Kyuhyun demanded as if it should have been obvious. He let out an angry sigh as he turned towards the fridge.
Kyuhyun had barely opened the fridge when Hankyung grabbed his arm and turned him back around. He opened his mouth to protest when suddenly he felt Hankyung’s lips against his, silencing any more words. Hankyung held his arms still as they kissed and Kyuhyun could feel the fridge pressed against his back. At first he was stiff and unrelenting, but as the kiss progressed and deepened, Kyuhyun relaxed and gave himself up.
When Hankyung broke the kiss and just stood before him, his hands still tightly holding Kyuhyun’s upper arms, Kyuhyun turned his face away, a flush already on his cheeks. Hankyung released his hold on Kyuhyun, but took his chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing Kyuhyun to look at him,
“I love you too,” Hankyung stated simply, softly, sincerely, his eyes gazing into Kyuhyun’s. He watched as Kyuhyun’s earlier hostile emotions left him and he allowed the tension leave his body.
Kyuhyun swiped Hankyung’s hand from his chin and crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly glaring at Hankyung, “I’m not sharing you,” he stated sternly, eyes narrowed, “Not with anyone for anything.”
Hankyung chuckled softly as he grabbed Kyuhyun’s chin again, “Of course…”
Kyuhyun grabbed Hankyung’s hand and gripped it tightly, meaningfully, “I’m being serious Hankyung!” He exclaimed, not appreciating his laugh at all,
“So am I. And I’m not sharing you with anyone for anything,” Hankyung swore solemnly.
“Good,” Kyuhyun murmured as he raised Hankyung’s hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against it.
He replied in kind by wrapping his free arm around Kyuhyun’s waist and pulling him into an embrace. Hankyung closed his eyes, his lips brushing against Kyuhyun’s forehead as he relished in the feel of his love in his arms.
The next day, Kyuhyun waited outside in the hallway for Hankyung’s Statistic’s class to finish. The class was one Hankyung taught opposite days of the Calculus class where Kyuhyun and his friends were in. Also, after this class, Hankyung had his lunch, so Kyuhyun knew it was the perfect time to steal a few minutes with him. As the top of the hour came, the students began to pack up their things and file out the doors to continue their class rotations. As the classroom slowly emptied, Kyuhyun entered as if he was a trouble student looking for clarification on a difficult problem.
Hankyung kept his back to Kyuhyun as he cleared the white boards. When the last student left and they were alone, Hankyung put down the dry eraser and turned around to face him,
“You don’t have class until after noon,” Hankyung stated as he glanced at his wrist watch, “You still have an hour.”
“I wanted to come talk to you for a bit,” Kyuhyun explained quietly as he stood by Hankyung’s desk. With his hands in his pockets, presenting a humble demeanour, he added hesitantly, “And… maybe ask you to come over for dinner?”
“This is Sungmin’s invitation isn’t it?” Hankyung raised an eyebrow, amused,
Kyuhyun sighed as his whole body relaxed, “Yes… but I do want you to come. It’s taken so long and they’ve finally stopped distancing themselves from you.”
Hankyung crossed his arms loosely, “I know how important it is for you, so yes.”
“Well, they’re really important to me… and you’re really important to me. If you guys didn’t mix well, I’d have to get rid of one of you guys and as much as I love you,” His eyes fell to the floor as his cheeks pinked, “I can’t get rid of them,” he looked up then, grinning, “I’ve known them for too long; since we were kids - I mean… I use to take showers with them when we were really little.”
Hankyung smirked, “And I take showers with you now.” Kyuhyun flushed a deeper red as Hankyung laughed softly, “Don’t worry, the three of us will get along fine.”
“Do… do you have any friends from your childhood?” Kyuhyun asked hesitantly,
“From my childhood? Sure. Do I still talk to them? Not since I came to Korea,” Hankyung admitted easily,
“What… what about when you came here?” Kyuhyun stammered,
“Well, you already know the answer to that,” Hankyung smiled at him sadly, “The age gap was too big to make a connection with anyone from school… In all honesty, Heechul and Eeteuk are the first friends I made in Korea.”
“But… You’ve been here for so long and… you only met them two years ago,” Kyuhyun stated,
Hankyung laughed softly, the mirth not reaching his eyes at all, “Yes, I’m fully aware of that.” Hankyung saw the sadness from yesterday enter Kyuhyun’s eyes, “Don’t look at me like that,” Hankyung said gently, his hips leaning against the counter beneath the whiteboards. When Kyuhyun dropped his gaze to the floor, Hankyung sighed softly, “Don’t look like that. I’ve gotten over it, so you shouldn’t dwell on it.”
Kyuhyun looked up at him, “But you haven’t gotten over it-”
“No - you haven’t!” Kyuhyun argued hotly, “I saw it in your eyes yesterday and I see it now, so don’t presume to lie to me. Not now, not ever - especially after I was honest with you yesterday.”
Hankyung held out a hand to Kyuhyun and he hesitantly placed his hand in Hankyung’s. He pulled Kyuhyun into his arms, his lips pressed against his forehead, “Okay, I won’t lie about it anymore,” Hankyung promised quietly, wanting nothing more than to calm Kyuhyun, erase the empathetic sadness he saw in those dark eyes.
“PROFESSOR HAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
Hankyung suddenly froze, his heart felt as if it had stopped beating. He felt Kyuhyun in his embrace, suddenly cold and tense. Slowly, Hankyung raised his eyes to where the voice had come from - one of the upper doors to the classroom. There standing in one of the doorways was SM University’s Dean of the Faculty.
Kyuhyun tried to move away but Hankyung knew that they would have more than enough time away from one another once the Dean met with Board of Governors. So, he held onto Kyuhyun tighter, not wanting to let go ever, but knowing he would have to eventually.
(For the sequel & final part: True Desires)