“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

[RQ] Fated to Love

For amine87

theme: none specified.
pair: Eeteuk/Kangin; Eeteuk/Heechul
rate: NC17
words: 5447
(Part of the Fated series.)

“But I love you.”

She laughed at the absurdity of his words. Her laugh which had always felt like music to his ears, suddenly felt like a dagger. His chest constricted with pain as she scoffed at his words, flinging away his declaration as if it were merely a pesky bug. He watched silently as she turned around and walked off, placing her hand in that of another boy’s. After three years, he had learned of her consistent infidelity with that boy. After three years, he had learned everything he had, had been all lies.

As he was pushed onto the bed, he remembered what had happened ten years ago. He looked up into the eyes of the one he was with now.

“Heechul…” he began before Heechul leaned down, capturing his lips with his own. He felt Heechul probe into his mouth with his tongue, felt Heechul’s hands all over his body, but that was all he felt. Annoyed, he pushed him off of him, “I think we should break up.”

Heechul gaped at him, startled. He crossed his arms and raised a peculiar eyebrow. “Why Eeteuk-sshi?”

Eeteuk stood up from the bed, straightening his clothes. He ran a hand through his hair as a means to fix whatever strands had gone astray. This was how it had been for the last ten years. He had never stayed with anyone for too long, never even got farther than a few heated kisses.

“I’m bored,” Eeteuk’s answer came out flatly. He realized early on that it was easier to give that excuse rather than the real one, that he could never love them. He had become incapable of that.

Heechul stared at him a moment before getting off the bed and coming around to stand in front of him. Arms crossed still, Heechul stared him in the eye, as if determining the validity of Eeteuk’s answer. After a five-count, Heechul stepped aside to grant him access to the door.

Eeteuk had taken three steps before Heechul grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He cradled Eeteuk’s face with his hands and his lips came down upon Eeteuk’s. Their lips met in a violent meeting and Eeteuk tried to pull away, but Heechul only held onto him tighter. He forced his tongue between Eeteuk’s lips and then it became a delicious duel between their tongues. Suddenly, Heechul let go of him, breaking the kiss.

Running his thumb along his own bottom lip, Heechul sighed, “But damn you’re a good kisser,” and with that, he brushed past Eeteuk and left first. After all, no one left Kim Heechul.

A few weeks passed and, to Eeteuk’s surprise, his friendship with Heechul had not been affected by their brief relationship. He was thankful for it, he had known them being together would affect Super Junior and if breaking up with Heechul so suddenly would end in breaking up Super Junior, he would never forgive him. However, during those few weeks after his split from Heechul, Eeteuk began sensing a change in another relationship he had.

For years he had lived with and been the best of friends with Kangin. However, after the other members found out that he and Heechul had split up, Kangin’s attentions had suddenly become more than that of a friend. For the first time in years, Eeteuk didn’t know how to react. In the past ten years, he had gone out with people who had shown interest, why not? But none of those people had ever been as close to him as Kangin. Heechul was the person who ever came closest.

One evening during dinner as everyone ate in the restaurant, Eeteuk barely touched his food. Instead, he watched Kangin who sat across from him. Eeteuk watched quietly as Kangin bent over his food, eating heartily. Once in awhile, one of the other members would say something or talk to him. Eeteuk studied Kangin’s expressions as he furrowed his eyebrows when he was confused or suspicious or upset. Then something would be said and he would smile brightly, his eyes becoming upside-down crescents.

As if sensing his gaze, Kangin suddenly turned to look at Eeteuk. Their eyes met and Eeteuk found himself unable to look away as if Kangin were physically holding him still. Eeteuk reached for his glass on the table, as if idly holding it. Lightly holding it on the table, Eeteuk slowly stroked his finger up and down the cool glass. Kangin’s eyes followed that finger before meeting Eeteuk’s gaze again; he raised a curious eyebrow. Eeteuk then raised the glass in a silent toast to him before downing the rest of his drink.

Suddenly, Kangin excused himself and retreated to the bathroom. After a five-count, Eeteuk excused himself as well and followed his dongsaeng’s path at leisure. The moment he entered the men’s bathroom, he was pushed back against the door. He heard the door lock just as Kangin’s lips crashed down upon him.

Kangin slipped his hand behind his neck, holding his head firmly against his own. As if on instinct, Eeteuk placed his hands on Kangin’s hips and pulled them towards his own so their bodies were flush with one another. Kangin ran his tongue along Eeteuk’s lips and he opened them, allowing Kangin to deepen the kiss. He tasted Kangin, their tongues dancing with one another and it tasted like nothing before. It was sweet and he found he couldn’t get enough. Kangin broke the kiss and began trailing kisses along his jaw line.

“Say you’re mine,” Kangin’s voice came gruffly in his ear, his lips tickling Eeteuk’s neck,

“Do you… care about… me?” Eeteuk breathed as he began to grind his hips against Kangin’s.

He shivered as Kangin ran his tongue along the column of his neck before pressing his lips against his temple, “Of course, you know I do,”

“That’s all I need,” Eeteuk murmured as Kangin pulled back to look at him quizzically. He reached between them and massaged Kangin through his jeans, “I’m yours.”

With a growl low in his throat, Kangin pushed himself away from Eeteuk and unlocked the door. Eeteuk blinked at him, confused. Had he done something wrong? Was he getting dismissed before they even did anything? He hit Kangin with a hard, questioning glare.

Kangin responded with a bright smile, “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Eeteuk’s jaw dropped as Kangin opened the door and gestured for him to lead the way back to the table. All his other partners wouldn’t have stopped, would have continued after his blatant offer. All his other partners were not Kangin. After shooting Kangin an accusatory glare, he moved to lead them back to the members. On their silent walk back, Eeteuk began to wonder if it was a good thing that Kangin wasn’t like all the others from his past.

A few weeks later, Eeteuk and Kangin were out walking in the park when suddenly a young woman and boy were walking on the same path toward them caught Eeteuk’s attention. He stopped in his tracks and Kangin stopped out of confusion.

Eeteuk felt his heart constrict, his mouth go dry and felt every part of his body begin to tremble. As the pair approached, the woman looked at Eeteuk and they stopped before them. When she smiled, Eeteuk felt as if he had been punched. He hadn’t seen that smile in ten years and it still looked as bright as he remembered. As if in a trance, Eeteuk introduced Kangin to the woman. She turned her smile on him and Eeteuk felt his gut twist as Kangin smiled back and shook her hand.

If he felt liked he was punched when she smiled, he felt as if he had been stabbed when she introduced her companion as her son. Eeteuk felt the strength leave him and he would have fallen had Kangin not placed a hand at the small of his back. Usually, Eeteuk would’ve given Kangin a look of thanks, a small smile - anything… but at that moment, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the boy who stood beside his first love.

The pain in his chest grew and he felt tears begin to sting his eyes. He fought it back as he offered a big smile, congratulating her. The smile faltered then disappeared as Kangin began engaging her in conversation. He tried to drown them out, his eyes glued to the boy who’s eyes wandered about, but snippets of their chatter broke through to him anyway. She was married and a year later they were blessed with her son. She had recently moved back to Seoul with her family and they were on their way to meet her husband for a late lunch by his office building.

Kangin made their excuses to leave, sensing the emotions coursing through Eeteuk. They said their goodbyes and Kangin had to practically push Eeteuk to bring him out of his trance. After a few steps, Eeteuk turned around and called after her. She and her son stopped and she turned around, giving him a look of question,

“How long were you and your husband together before you got married?” Eeteuk questioned, forcing a strength into his words that he didn’t feel; if he didn’t, he knew his voice would crack.

She chewed on her bottom lip a moment and eyed him warily before answering, “Three years.” Her eyes dropped to the ground as she said goodbye once more and turned back, walking off with her son.

Three years.

Eeteuk felt his heart hammering in his chest painfully, felt the tears return with a vengeance and suddenly it became hard to breath. His breaths came shallow and staggered. He grabbed onto Kangin for balance as he felt his world suddenly begin to spin and crumble once more. Not knowing what to do, nor how to feel, Kangin grabbed Eeteuk’s hand and led them back to the dorm.

Once back at the dorm, Kangin was glad to find it empty. With Eeteuk’s mood he knew his hyung wouldn’t want the others to see him so shaken up. As Kangin began untying his shoes, Eeteuk brushed past him, walking to his room almost trance-like. Curious and worried, Kangin followed after him. He stood in the doorway as Eeteuk moved to his closet.

Eeteuk pushed the door open and got down on his knees. He began tossing clothes from the bottom of the closet away. He dug until he found a shoebox that had been hidden in the recesses of the dirty clothes he and Donghae had piled in the closet. Closing the closet door, he stood with the shoebox and brought it over to his desk. He opened it and suddenly began to dig through the contents of the shoebox.

Kangin watched, amazed as Eeteuk pulled out a small picture frame. Eeteuk brushed off the dust that had collected on the wooden frame over the years and just stared at the picture within. Silently, Kangin came up behind him and looked at the picture over his shoulder. Kangin recognized the first person in the picture immediately, it was Eeteuk when he was much younger. Eeteuk was smiling happily, his single dimple appearing. Kangin followed Eeteuk’s arm in the picture which was draped across the shoulders of the other person in the picture. A girl sat beside Eeteuk with long, straight hair. She had almond-shaped eyes, cute dimples and a big smile; the same smile he had seen earlier in the park.

Suddenly, Kangin couldn’t see the picture clearly anymore. The glass had become stained with tears and the hands holding the frame were shaking horribly.

“I was with her for three years before she left me for him…” Eeteuk’s voice came in a whisper. “I loved her…”

Kangin turned him around and, hands planted firmly on his shoulders, he stared directly into Eeteuk’s tear-filled eyes. “You have me now.”

Eeteuk pushed him away, scowling, “Don’t tell me what I have and what I don’t have. The last thing I need is pity from you.”

“I don’t pity you damn it!” Kangin exclaimed, grabbing his wrist as he began to leave the room, “I just think you should forget about her because she’s not here, I am.”

Eeteuk glared back at him, seeing the fire in his boyfriend’s eyes. Never before had he seen such an intensity in those eyes; never before had he felt such a possessiveness surging through that body. He knew he should be scared, should run away from such things, but all Eeteuk felt was drawn even more to his dongsaeng.

“Then fuck me.”

The command came so quietly that Kangin wasn’t even sure it was said. He stammered, his hold on Eeteuk’s wrist suddenly loosening, “What?”

“Until I never remember her again…” Eeteuk said swiftly, softly as he closed the distance between them, the frame slipping from his fingers and falling to the floor. He reached up, cupping the nape of Kangin’s neck with his hand and pulling his lips to his own.

The kiss was sweet and promising of things to come, things they hadn’t done since that time in the bathroom. Slowly, Kangin pulled him back with him until they were at Eeteuk’s bed. As Eeteuk stood before him, Kangin’s lips moved away from his mouth. He trailed kisses along his jaw and down the column of his neck. His hands moved up his shirt and Eeteuk only broke contact with Kangin to pull off his shirt. Once his torso was bared, Kangin continued his ministrations.

Slowly, Kangin sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Eeteuk to stand between his legs. Gripping Eeteuk’s hips, he flicked his tongue across a flat nipple. Eeteuk shuddered from the sensation as Kangin began to suck and nip at first one, and then the other. Eeteuk felt the pressure being to build within him and suddenly his jeans felt like they were too tight. He fought the urge to scream as Kangin’s lips moved lower and lower, slowly slipping from the bed until he was on his knees.

Kangin easily undid his jeans and slipped them along with his drawers down until Eeteuk stood there naked. He looked up questioningly at his hyung and Eeteuk had to restrain himself from grabbing him and driving into him then and there. Kangin dragged a finger tip along the errant arousal and Eeteuk let out a soft moan. Then he dragged his tongue along the shaft and Eeteuk had to grab onto his shoulders to keep upright. However, Kangin did nothing more than use a finger or the tip of his tongue to caress Eeteuk. Growing impatient, Eeteuk tightened his hold on Kangin’s shoulders and Kangin looked up at him, questioningly, a smirk on his lips.

“Please…” Eeteuk grounded out.

Kangin nodded as he wrapped his hand around Eeteuk and slowly began to stroke him, firmly, steadily. Eeteuk let out a moan of relief as he finally felt more. The pressure that had been building up below, suddenly began to slowly spread to the rest of his body. He felt the strength leaving his legs and found it hard to breath as Kangin continued to pump him in slow, strong strokes.

Eeteuk found himself on the verge of begging for more again when he felt Kangin’s mouth surround him. His mouth fell open and his fingers trembled as they gripped onto Kangin’s shoulders. He gasped suddenly when Kangin began to suck on him, hard. It was getting harder and harder to stand, with or without Kangin there to support him. Soon the trembling that was in his fingers spread to the rest of his body as he felt as if he were on fire.

Kangin moved his hands from Eeteuk’s hips, to his bottom, gripping it tightly, holding it to him. Eeteuk felt Kangin’s fingers begin to massage his rear and felt the back of Kangin’s throat tease the tip of him. As his dongsaeng began to undulate his head on him, Eeteuk felt the pressure building and building until he couldn’t handle it anymore. He tried to push Kangin away as he reached his climax, but Kangin held him and drank every last drop of him.

When he was spent, Eeteuk stood shakily, holding Kangin’s head to his stomach. He took slow, deep breaths, trying to calm his hammering heart.

“You didn’t have to…” Eeteuk managed between steadying breaths,

“Oh, I did,” Kangin argued softly, his voice low and sultry, as he got to his feet, “I wanted to give you something before I have you beneath me, panting,” he kissed his shoulder, “and wriggling,” he moved his kisses to Eeteuk’s neck, “begging for more,” he kissed up his neck until his lips tickled his ear, “and screaming my name.”

Eeteuk shuddered at the promise as Kangin handed him onto the bed. He watched with bated breath as Kangin undressed. His eyes followed his dongsaeng’s hands as they unbuttoned and unzipped so slowly, he thought he’d scream in anticipation. Before he even realized it, Kangin was before him, all his clothes pooled at his ankles.

Eeteuk held out a hand to him and Kangin took it, coming onto the bed and slowly lowered them to the mattress as he kissed him. Kangin had one hand cupping Eeteuk’s neck and the other hand was below, between them and stroking Eeteuk into arousal once more. Eeteuk’s hands roamed over Kangin’s back, sides, torso, his hands revelling in the feel of bare skin; Kangin’s bare skin.

This time, it was Eeteuk’s turn to deepen the kiss, his tongue running along every surface of the inside of Kangin’s hot mouth. Kangin groaned into the kiss as Eeteuk rubbed his tongue along Kangin’s and then taking his tongue between his lips. Then, Eeteuk released Kangin’s lips to gasp as he felt his dongsaeng’s hands grow rougher on him below.

Kangin tightened his fingers around Eeteuk as his strokes grew stronger and Eeteuk bit down hard on his lip to stop from screaming. He could feel the pressure building up inside again as Kangin continued. He was close to oblivion when he suddenly felt Kangin at his entrance. His eyes flew open and he stared wildly into the other’s eyes.

Before he could think of anything, Kangin entered him swiftly as his lips captured his own. Eeteuk cried into the kiss as he felt as if his body had been torn in half. His hands which had been roaming, caressing Kangin were now clutching him to him, holding him close as he fought his tears.

“I’m sorry,” Kangin whispered as his lips moved to Eeteuk’s eyes, pressing a kiss to each, pained to taste Eeteuk’s salty tears.

Eeteuk felt Kangin’s hand travel from behind his neck to his head, holding it to his shoulder. As if understanding what he wanted, Eeteuk bit down hard on Kangin’s shoulder to stop from crying. He tasted copper and felt Kangin flinch from the pain. Kangin gritted his teeth together to stop from crying out, not because Eeteuk had bitten him, but because Eeteuk surrounded him so tightly, he was surprised he could control himself for this long. Eeteuk tried to move his head away, to stop from causing him pain, but Kangin head his head still; kept his own body still.

His heart slowly calming, Eeteuk felt the pain slowly turn into soreness, slowly turn into something more as his senses were blown wide open. He could feel Kangin on ever inch of his body. He could feel Kangin’s breath on his neck, hot and wet. He could hear the other’s heavy breathing, feel his chest moving against his own. More importantly, he could feel Kangin pulsating within him. It was such an odd feeling, of being intruded and yet, it was welcome. The stretching which had once caused him pain was now throbbing for more. Gingerly, he raised his hips, crossing his ankles high on Kangin’s back. It was answer enough for him to start moving.

A soft moan escaped Eeteuk’s lips as Kangin began to move in and out of him. The feeling was so new, so different. This was another way Kangin was different from the others, he had never gone this far with anyone else, probably because he ended it long before it even got close.

Kangin grunted from the effort of each thrust then suddenly slowed down completely. Eeteuk opened his eyes, staring at Kangin with disbelief. He smirked down at his hyung as he proceeded at an achingly slow pace. Eeteuk tried in vain to move his hips, to feel more, to make Kangin move more.

“Say you’re mine,” Kangin’s voice came in a low growl,

“Do you care about me?” Eeteuk questioned in reply, gritting his teeth in irritation,

“Of course I do,” Kangin grounded out.

“Then,” Eeteuk tightened his legs around Kangin, “I’m yours.”

In reply, Kangin increased the speed of his thrusts. Eeteuk let out a moan of relief as he got what he wanted. The pressure, the heat, everything was back and more than before. Kangin entered him again and again. Eeteuk was close to the edge, and Kangin felt him hard against his stomach. With one hand still cradling the back of Eeteuk’s head, Kangin reached between them with his other and brushed his hand over the tip of Eeteuk’s arousal. He let out a cry as his whole body shook from the shock.

“Harder…” Eeteuk breathed as he felt sweat drip down his face,

“Say you’re mine,” Kangin grounded out as he began to stroke Eeteuk, coordinating his hand with his hips,

“Damn it, you already know I’m yours!” Eeteuk exclaimed with frustration.

Before he could say anything more, Kangin slammed into him and he let out a groan, Kangin’s name on his lips. Each thrust became more powerful than the last and Eeteuk felt his very core filled completely of Kangin. Soon, his body began to shake as he neared his completion and when Kangin buried his face against his neck, Eeteuk knew Kangin wasn’t far behind.

After a few more pumps, Eeteuk reached oblivion once more. He clenched his eyes closed, and clenched Kangin to him as his body pulsated with white fire. Kangin pumped him until he was completely spent and despite the evidence of Eeteuk’s climax evident between them, he continued. He moved both of his hands to Eeteuk’s hips and slammed into him again and again.

Soon, Kangin became frenzied, so close to the edge and yet still so far. He grabbed Eeteuk’s knees and moved them to hook about his shoulders. This time, when he thrust into Eeteuk, the feel was more different, more powerful, more deep.

Eeteuk threw his arms above his head in wanton abandon as Kangin pounded into him harder and harder and harder still. Kangin’s fingers became bruising on his hips but Eeteuk didn’t mind, all he minded was that he was close to completion for the third time.

When Eeteuk reached his climax again, Kangin felt himself just about to fall over the precipice, he whispered against Eeteuk’s neck, “I love you…”

Eeteuk’s eyes flew wide open and suddenly, he pushed Kangin off of him.

Kangin stared at him in disbelief. It was a fraction of a second before disbelief turned into anger, “What the hell was that!?” He demanded, getting up and standing beside the bed, “You get yours three times - THREE TIMES - and I don’t even get mine!?”

“For goodness sake,” Eeteuk knelt on the bed before him and grabbed for Kangin. He pumped him a few times and that was all it took, despite his anger, for him to finish.

After he was spent, Kangin pushed Eeteuk away, “You still haven’t answered me!”

“You said you love me!” Eeteuk retorted, almost accusingly,

Kangin’s jaw dropped before his eyes narrowed, “And what the hell is wrong with that!?”

“I told you in the beginning, all I need is for you to care - I don’t need love!” Eeteuk declared, getting off the bed and pushing past Kangin to grab and pull on his boxers.

“What kind of bullshit is that!?” Kangin demanded as he began to pull on his own boxers and jeans.

“If you can’t accept it then let’s just end things now,” Eeteuk gave the ultimatum, crossing his arms and clad in just his boxers.

“I love you - I don’t want to break up with you!” Kangin stated angrily as he grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it on.

“Stop saying that!” Eeteuk demanded,

“What that I love you? Give me one good reason why I should stop,” Kangin challenged,

“Because I can’t love you back!” Eeteuk exclaimed,

“Why the hell not!?” Kangin demanded, “You loved her!”

Eeteuk said nothing, turning his gaze away, he stood there silently.

“You’re full of bullshit, I hope you know that,” Kangin grounded out as he pushed past Eeteuk to the door. He stopped in the door way and turned back to look at him, “And I don’t give a shit what you say because damn it, I love you - why? I can’t even say right now, but I do. And I’ll keep loving you no matter what the fuck you say! So I’ll just wait for you to come to your senses and when you do, give me a fucking call.” With that, Kangin exited, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

Eeteuk never did call Kangin back. Instead, he did the opposite and began hanging out with Heechul more often than before. When they had activities together with Super Junior, Eeteuk constantly felt Kangin’s eyes on them and he forced himself to not pay attention.

Heechul, on the other hand, relished in Kangin’s blatant jealousy. Whenever he sat next to Eeteuk, Heechul made an effort to always have an arm loosely draped across his shoulders. Whenever cameras weren’t rolling, Heechul would lean in close to Eeteuk and whisper something - anything to make the leader smile or laugh; anything to make Kangin’s bile rise.

One afternoon, Super Junior were at the dance studio practicing for an upcoming performance. Eeteuk stood against the wall, arms crossed loosely about his torso as Heechul stood in front of him,

“You’re enjoying this too much,” Eeteuk said flatly,

Heechul smirked, “You said you wanted Kangin to hate you to make it easier on him… I’m just helping things look more believable.” Heechul stretched out an arm, planting it beside Eeteuk’s head, “Although, it would be easier if you just love the moron.”

“I can’t… not again,” Eeteuk sighed, his gaze dropping to the wooden floor. Since his fight with Kangin two weeks ago, he had felt hollow. His chest constricted and hurt at even the mere mention of his dongsaeng’s name. Clenching his fists to stop from trembling, he muttered, “All I need is for him to care,”

“Well he does… just more than you’d like,” Heechul pointed out,

Eeteuk shook his head before he sighed and looked up at Heechul, a small smile on his face despite his eyes sparkling with threatening tears, “Thanks for your help.”

Before he could reply, Heechul suddenly found himself on the ground, his shoulders throbbing from where they had been hit by two strong hands. Kangin towered over him, his hands clenched tightly at his sides, knuckles white from the effort. When he moved to go after Heechul again, Shiwon and Hankyung came up behind him, both grabbing an arm to stop him.

Eeteuk went to Heechul, “Why the fuck did you do that!?” Eeteuk demanded, turning on Kangin after helping Heechul to his feet,

“We never broke up,” Kangin grounded out, his eyes dark and fiery as he struggled against his hyung and his dongsaeng’s hold on him,

“And what does that have to do with you pushing Heechul?” Eeteuk questioned,

“He’s always with you and you’re always with him. He always has an arm around you, your hands always brush one another. Smiling at him, laughing with him - I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” Kangin exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes as both Shiwon and Hankyung had to dig their heels into the ground to restrain him.

Heechul nudge Eeteuk to just follow his advice, but Eeteuk refused to. Rather, he turned to Heechul, grabbed his face between his hands and pulled him into a kiss.

Kangin let out a cry as he pulled with all his strength to free himself from the other’s grips. Hankyung and Shiwon did so immediately and Kangin crumbled to the floor. Heechul pushed Eeteuk away and moved towards Kangin, but Eeteuk grabbed his arm stopping him. On his knees, Kangin pounded on the floor, grounding out a curse as his body shook from the cries he fought against. He wouldn’t cry aloud again, not for someone who could do that to him.

A heaviness fell upon his chest and it began to suffocate Kangin until he felt his heart break from the pressure. When he felt a pair of arms wrap around him, he allowed himself to hope for a moment. He looked up and through his veil of tears he didn’t see Eeteuk beside him. Instead, he saw Sungmin. Kangin bit down hard on his lip to stop from screaming as he felt his heart break a second time. Why had he allowed himself to hope?

From within the circle of his dongsaeng’s comforting arms, Kangin watched through his tears as Eeteuk turned and walked away, pulling a reluctant Heechul with him. Once the door closed behind them, a strangle cry escaped from Kangin’s lips.

He hadn’t thought it possible for his heart to break a third time.

Tensions were high in Super Junior for the following weeks. Three month after what had happened in the dance studio, Heechul was with Eeteuk, returning from that day’s activities. When they stepped out of the elevator, they were surprised to meet three of their other members waiting for the elevator. As they came out, Donghae, Sungmin and Kangin greeted them,

“Evening hyungs,” Donghae and Sungmin coursed,

“Eeteuk-sshi,” Kangin greeted quietly, a small smile on his lips,

Eeteuk blinked a moment, startled before murmuring, “Hi… Kangin…” They hadn’t even said common courtesy pleasantries to one another over the past three months, let alone greetings upon sudden run-ins.

“Where are you three off to?” Heechul asked absent-mindedly as he ran a hand through his perfectly groomed hair,

“I’m going with Sungmin and Kangin to Kangin’s radio show tonight,” Donghae explained as they stepped into the elevator,

“Sungmin and Kangin?” Eeteuk repeated under his breath as his eyes suddenly fell upon the intertwined fingers of said members. He felt a lump form in his throat, stopping any words he could muster from his discovery. As he heard the elevator doors begin to close, his eyes shot up just in time to see Kangin lean in and drop a kiss to Sungmin’s nose.

Eeteuk felt all his strength leave him and he fell to the ground. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest and the lump in his throat felt as if it were growing. His chest tightened and he found himself no longer able to breath. His body began to tremble and unbeknownst to him, tears began to fall from eyes that were still wide from shock.

He crossed his arms over his stomach, pressing them into his abdomen. His stomach felt as if a knife had impaled him and was now slowly twisting as it was driven deeper and deeper. Heechul knelt down beside him and gathered him into his arms, but Eeteuk felt none of that. His body felt cold all over and he felt numb to his dongsaeng’s comforting embrace. He wanted to push Heechul away and yet, wanted some kind of comfort and affection; still, he felt nothing. Nothing but hollowness and cold and pain.

“What’s wrong with me?” Eeteuk managed through his overwhelming cries, and flood of tears,

“I think… you’ve just had your heart broken,” Heechul’s voice floated to him, soft, gently and warm, but Eeteuk felt none of these from his voice.

“But… that means I only helped what I’ve tried to stop from happening all these years,” Eeteuk muttered confusedly as his body shook with a greater ferocity than before. His voice trembled and cracked as he went on, “But that would have to mean...” on the brink of realization, yet not allowing himself to believe it, Eeteuk grounded out, “I love Kangin…”

Heechul tightened his arms about him, but Eeteuk felt no comfort as Heechul replied hesitantly, “Exactly.”

The remnants of his broken heart died at that moment.

(For the sequel, Fated to Break)


iwufsuju said...

Its me again..... So happy to see your new fics... but i cant read it now... so i will come abck leave comment again later, maybe tomorrow.. ^_^

PS: love your new pic of Henry... he is so cute there..

amine87 said...

HOLY SH*T O________O

Accidentally I was online and saw your posting

because I didn't even THINK it'd be that broken
(and hell I LOVE IT!!!)

Kangin is just so HOT
and I love HeeTeuk moments!!! so much xD~~~
and Teuk's past.. memories... T___T *sobs

and here
“I wanted to give you something before I have you beneath me, panting,” he kissed his shoulder, “and wriggling,” he moved his kisses to Eeteuk’s neck, “begging for more,” he kissed up his neck until his lips tickled his ear, “and screaming my name.”
awwwwwwwwwww~ x3333

three times is not enough xD hauhauhuahauhauaha

I love you x3333

meilhette said...

wah T____________T
broken!kangteuk makes me cry.
but it's beautiful.. really.
i love it.
and 83line(heeteuk)is also here,
it's my fav pair next to kangteuk ^^;
i notice that it's your first nc17 kangteuk in your fics here? :]
you're really great.
and i'll be waiting for more of your fics~
fighting! ^^

animegirl29 said...

I think my heart just broke along with Teukie's ;__;

iwufsuju said...

me again... hiks.. broken kangteuk is just too sad.... cant believe that eeteuk let kangin go...

i think i feel more for kangin.. with what happeneded in the dance pratice room, i cried along with him....

any possibilities of sequel? *puppy eyes*....

Ari said...

oh this was nice, but I demand a sequel where you'd mend the broken KT please, pretty please :)

Sam said...

oh T_T
guuh i love all of your KT, and woot a bonus here there's 83 line in action too ♥
and i kinda hope that you'll make a sequel of this..with a happy KT ending hopefully :)