“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

[028] Angel with Broken Wings

theme: o28. Choking.
pair: Eeteuk/Ryeowook
rate: G
words: 2456
#: 69/100


It was an early Summer afternoon. The sun was hot and the only thing that could cool a person down was the feel of cold water.

“JaeRi! Jungsu, you be careful!”

Laughter bubbled from the boys’ mouths as they ran out of the back door towards the pool. JaeRi waved a hand as he ran off towards his mother who shook her head after them, a smile on her lips. She closed the door behind them then returned to the kitchen, keeping an eye on them through the window above the sink.

“Team Jungsu and JaeRi!” JaeRi declared as he stopped at the pool’s edge,

“For how long?” Jungsu called behind him as he ran to the other end of the pool,

JaeRi punched a fist into the air, a grin spread across his face, “Forever!”

“Don’t forget to stay in the shallow end JaeRi!” Jungsu reminded before jumping into the deep end. When his head bobbed above the water, he slicked his hair from his eyes, “You still can’t swim, so don’t try coming over here.”

“But-” JaeRi began to protest,

Jungsu swam over to the shallow end as JaeRi slipped into the water from the edge of the pool, “No, I’ll just stay on this end with you, okay?”

JaeRi nodded as he grabbed the beach ball from the edge and tossed it over to his friend, “Jungsu!”


“Eeteuk!”

Eeteuk blinked. He sat on a lounge chair on the patio by the hotel’s pool. Super Junior had activities in Japan, and after a full day of schedules, the thirteen members decided to relax in and around the pool before dinner.

“Eeteuk!”

Eeteuk turned his attention to the direction where the voice was. Kangin and some of the others were in the water,

“Are you going to play volleyball with us or not?” Kangin asked,

“I don’t like the water, you know that,” Eeteuk replied.

Kangin watched him a moment before nodding and turning back towards the others.

“You don’t like the water, hyung?” Eeteuk turned to his side, completely forgetting that Ryeowook had been in the chair beside him. “I don’t either, but that’s because I don’t know how to swim… I’d like to learn though.”

“Oh, I can swim,” Eeteuk insisted, “It’s just that I choose not to.”

Ryeowook looked out towards the others playing in the pool, “But why? It looks like so much fun.”

“It is…” Eeteuk agreed as he followed his dongsaeng’s gaze to the other members, “Fun…”

“I’m sorry Jungsu!” JaeRi apologized, immediately scrambling out of the pool and running around the edge to where the ball had been overthrown to.

“It’s okay,” Jungsu replied…


“I’ll grab it for you!” Ryeowook called, pulling Eeteuk back from his reverie.

Eeteuk watched from his chair as Ryeowook got up and headed towards the pool’s edge. He watched Ryeowook get down on his knees and begin to reach towards the volleyball that had gone astray from the other members’ game. Suddenly, it wasn’t Ryeowook anymore who was stretching to reach the ball that was just an inch out of his grasp, it was JaeRi…

“JAERI!” Jungsu called just as his friend plummeted into the water, the ball forgotten.

JaeRi flailed in the water, attempt to get back to the surface, get air. Jungsu swam over to him as quickly as he could. He grabbed hold of JaeRi’s wrist just moments after he fell below the surface. With all the strength his ten-year-old body possessed, Jungsu swam towards the pool’s edge, pulling his friend with him. He got JaeRi out of the pool first before scrambling out himself. He knelt beside his friend’s side.


“RYEOWOOK!” Eeteuk exclaimed as he jumped from his chair as Ryeowook began to panic in the water. Not caring he still had his shirt on, he ran towards where Ryeowook had lost his balanced and fell into the pool. He dove into the water just as Ryeowook disappeared beneath the surface of the water.

He swam down towards Ryeowook was, hooking an arm beneath both of Ryeowook’s arms. With all the strength he could muster, Eeteuk swam back up to the surface and to the pool’s edge. Once there, he handed Ryeowook for the other members who had gotten out of the pool. The pulled Ryeowook out of the water and laid him down.

“Eeteuk-sshi, he’s not breathing!” Sungmin stated,

“Go get help,” Eeteuk instructed him as he scrambled out of the water and got to Ryeowook’s side. Eeteuk tilted Ryeowook’s head back, lifting the chin. He opened Ryeowook’s mouth and looked inside, “Did anyone see if he was choking on water before he went underwater?”

The others shook their heads.

He leaned down, his ear an inch away from Ryeowook’s lips. He felt nothing. He heard nothing.

He pinched Ryeowook’s nose close before covering his dongsaeng’s lips with his own. He breathed gently into him twice. Nothing. He placed two fingers on the pulse point of Ryeowook’s neck and counted to ten. He steadied his own breathing, tried to calm down his own heart. After feeling nothing, he brought his hands together, one atop the other over the middle of Ryeowook’s chest.

The others watched with bated breaths as Eeteuk did his compressions. After doing thirty, he breathed two more puffs of air into Ryeowook. During his fifth cycle of compressions, Eeteuk had to bite down on his lip to stop himself from crying aloud.

“Breathe damn it,” Eeteuk grounded out, “Breath…”

“JaeRi wake up!” Jungsu cried, shaking his friend by his shoulders, “Wake up JaeRi!” Jungsu fought against a scream as he saw blood seep from the back of JaeRi’s head. Shaking, Jungsu got to his feet and ran over to the back door, opening it violently he cried, “HELP!”

Immediately Jungsu and JaeRi’s mother ran back out towards JaeRi. She knelt down beside him, her hands trembling, “Jungsu, I need you to stay with JaeRi while I call for help, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Jungsu nodded as JaeRi’s mother bolted back into the house. As she called for help, she gripped the sink’s edge as she peered out through the window. Jungsu knelt down beside JaeRi as tears began to mingle with remnants from their pool play. “Please… wake up.”


“Breath… please!” Eeteuk pleaded as he went into the second set of cycles.

Suddenly, Ryeowook began to cough. He turned his head, coughing still as water splatter out from his mouth. He continued on coughing as Eeteuk sat back on his heels, letting out a sigh of relief.

“I got help!” Sungmin called as he ran up to them, leaning against Kyuhyun as he caught his breath. Behind him, a pair of the hotel’s paramedics came running.

Kangin helped Eeteuk to his feet as the paramedics asked for some space around Ryeowook. After they attended to Ryeowook, they decided to take him to the hotel’s clinic for further testing. As one led Ryeowook away, with the company of a manager, the remaining paramedic turned to the others,

“Who administered CPR to Kim-sshi before we arrived?” He inquired.

“Our leader,” the members answered all at once,

“Eeteuk-sshi,” Heechul stated as he bumped Eeteuk in front of them so the paramedic could distinguish him,

“You gave him more time until we could get here,” The paramedic stated before clapping a hand on his shoulder, “Super Junior is lucky to have such a reliable leader.”

Eeteuk dropped his gaze before pulling away from the man’s hand and pushing through the members, walking away.

Later that evening as Super Junior was having their dinner, Ryeowook came in, a small smile on his face. Immediately the other members jumped up to greet him and hug him and see for themselves that he was okay.

“Sore, bandaged, but they gave me medicine for the pain,” Ryeowook gave them a weak smile. Suddenly, his eyes were searching everywhere in the room but couldn’t find their goal,

“He didn’t even touch his food,” Kangin said quietly, as if reading his mind, “Come, I’ll show you where he is,” Kangin said, pulling Ryeowook away from the others.

Once out in the hallway, Kangin stopped to look at Ryeowook, “You’re really okay to be up and about?” Ryeowook nodded, “Good. Well, I know you’re looking for Eeteuk; he left about ten minutes ago. He’s not in the best of moods.”

“Why didn’t someone go with him?” Ryeowook asked, “Why didn’t YOU go with him?”

“I wanted to… but… he’s broken and I think - in this - only you can fix him,” Kangin explained as he loosely crossed his arms,

“Why?” Ryeowook inquired, giving him a quizzical look,

Kangin sighed heavily as he turned back to rejoin the other members, “it’s not for me to tell… I think he went back to the pool.” Before Ryeowook could say or do more, Kangin slipped back into the room, leaving him alone.

Eeteuk was sitting on the cement by the pool when Ryeowook found him. Knees drawn to his chest and arms wrapped loosely about his upraised legs, Eeteuk gazed at the calm water before him.

“It’s a good thing you knew what to do,” Ryeowook said quietly as he gently lowered himself beside Eeteuk,

“I had to know… I couldn’t let another friend… die…” Eeteuk’s voice had become a mere whisper by the time he said his last word,

“What happened Eeteuk-sshi?” Ryeowook asked hesitantly,

“I was ten years old at my friend, JaeRi’s house…”

Jungsu swam over to the shallow end as JaeRi slipped into the water from the edge of the pool, “No, I’ll just stay on this end with you, okay?”

JaeRi nodded as he grabbed the beach ball from the edge and tossed it over to his friend, “Jungsu!”


Eeteuk pushed the memory of him and JaeRi playing in the pool from his mind. He swallowed hard, but the lump that had formed in his throat remained, “Like you, JaeRi couldn’t swim, so we stayed in the shallow end. We were playing with a beach ball and he threw it too high…” Eeteuk gripped his hands together tightly to stop them from trembling, “He got out to get it and…”

He slowly laid back on the water, floating atop as he awaited for JaeRi to return with the ball. He heard the ball drop into the water and got himself upright just as he saw JaeRi on his knees by the deep end, reaching out towards the ball floating on the water, “JaeRi, stop! Let me do it!”

“I saw him just as he fell in… he was fighting and fighting to get out of the water,” Eeteuk bit down on his lip as he felt hot tears sting his eyes, “By the time I reached him, he had already sunk to the bottom…”

“JaeRi wake up!” Jungsu cried, shaking his friend by his shoulders, “Wake up JaeRi!” Jungsu fought against a scream as he saw blood seep from the back of JaeRi’s head. Shaking, Jungsu got to his feet and ran over to the back door, opening it violently he cried, “HELP!”

Hands trembling violently, Eeteuk raised them before his eyes, “He must’ve hit his head at some point when he fell in or when he hit the bottom of the pool because…there… was blood.” He was silent a moment as he stared at his hands, as if they still held the red remnants of his childhood friend.

Jungsu knelt down beside JaeRi as tears began to mingle with remnants from their pool play. “Please… wake up.”

Eeteuk clasped his hands atop his knees and leaned his forehead against his hands, “By the time help arrived, JaeRi was already dead… his mom didn’t know what to do and… and neither did I… and because of that… JaeRi… JaeRi…” his voice trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Hyung…” Ryeowook placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, not knowing what else he could do. Oft times, it was he himself getting comfort from others.

“When I found out I’d be with everyone in Super Junior… when I took on the role of being leader, I knew I couldn’t stay ignorant. If another died because of me…” Eeteuk took a slow, deep breath, steadying his shaking voice,

“You were ten! No one would have or could have expected anything from you!” Ryeowook argued, suddenly understanding Eeteuk’s sullen mood after saving his life - his hyung felt guilty for JaeRi’s death.

Eeteuk raised his head and looked at Ryeowook, “I could’ve stopped him from going after the ball though… I could’ve prevented-”

“Stop blaming yourself. I bet you anything his mom blames herself but the last thing JaeRi would want is for the people he cares about most to blame themselves for his own mistakes,” Ryeowook insisted, no longer relying on his mind to think of what to do; he only needed to depend on his heart to help his hyung.

Eeteuk suddenly jumped to his feet, appalled, “How could you say his death was because of him!?” Eeteuk demanded angrily,

“Because I did the same thing!” Ryeowook replied calmly as he gingerly got up, cringing slightly from the pain in his chest, “I did the same thing and I know there’s no one to blame but myself… Eeteuk-sshi… hyung, you have to forgive yourself. There was nothing you could have done.”

“But he was my friend!” Eeteuk exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air,

“And you got help as fast as you could!” Ryeowook defended,

“But he still died!” Eeteuk argued, the tears he denied before now flowing, “He still died, Ryeowook!”

“Yes, but NOT because of YOU!” Ryeowook countered sternly, gripping Eeteuk’s shoulders for emphasis.

Eeteuk stared at Ryeowook; his tears falling, his body shaking and his lip bitten down on to stop his screams. Losing the last bit of his strength to keep from crying out, Eeteuk fell to his knees, a strangled cry escaping his lips. Carefully, Ryeowook knelt before him, pulling his hyung into his arms,

“It’s okay hyung,” Ryeowook insisted quietly as Eeteuk’s body was wracked with his sobbing.

Eeteuk finally held Ryeowook back and the dongsaeng fought against the pain that the embrace was creating.

“Team Jungsu and JaeRi!” JaeRi declared as he stopped at the pool’s edge.

“It’s okay,” Ryeowook repeated gently as Eeteuk buried his face against his shoulder, “I promise… it’s okay.”

“For how long?” Jungsu called behind him as he ran to the other end of the pool,

Eeteuk nodded against his shoulder, thankful that his dongsaeng’s hold never wavered despite the pain his body must be in from the effort.

JaeRi punched a fist into the air, a grin spread across his face, “Forever!”

“Mianhae… JaeRi…”

6 comments:

meilhette said...

another good one.^^
you're really a good writer.
i truly love your fics :]
the story is so sad,
and i felt like crying~
i also sense some kt<3 here but only a little.

fighting! :]

emie said...

OMG.. I read this over and over again... Because how you describe the feeling is so good.. Love it. Even because of watching Mystery 6 help me to imagine Jungsu during CPR..

Janet said...

ahh this is a good fic, there's so much emotion, i started tearing up at the end =)

iwufsuju said...

hiks... this is a really touching fic... love it heaps...

whatxsarahxsaid said...

Even though this was pretty sad, it's now one of my favorites!! If I were Eeteuk, I would have learned a lot of stuff like CPR, too. The weight of being the leader is so intense, I'd wager.

x k e l l y x e m o x said...

The moment the paramedics complimented on Eeteuk being a reliable leader, i just burst out crying non stop, even as I type this, my fingers are wet from my tears and is wetting my key board and im still crying~
Very touching~ Love how you portrayed Eeteuk~