[00SJ21] He's a Homewrecker

words: 1313
rate: PG13
(Day 21 of the Fanfiction series.)


Twenty-one days was twenty days too many. Actually, twenty-one days was too many, however, since the members knew they would never be so lucky with Heechul around, they grudgingly allowed him one day to not complain about his excessiveness.

Thankfully, on the twenty-first day of the challenge, Heechul was not present when Eunhyuk had a complaint. In the beginning, Heechul trusted the members to complain to him on their own because, he knew, that at least one of them would become so overcome with passionate anger towards fanfiction writers, that they would complain without his prompting. However, in the last few days, Heechul had become watchful. The previous evening when Henry had struggled to withhold a complaint form him only pushed him harder.

So, Eunhyuk found it quite fortunate that when he had a complaint, he didn’t have to face Heechul. He loved his hyung, but sometimes the bastard’s smug smile made a person want to shoot him. Or themselves; whichever came first.

Eunhyuk was in the radio station with Eeteuk, Yesung and Henry. Eunhyuk and Eeteuk had just finished their show and the members were all just doing their own thing as they waited to pack up and leave. The members weren’t even giving Eunhyuk much thought since he had been absorbed in his cellular phone since the show ended.

“Damn it,” Eunhyuk murmured, practically slamming his phone down on the table.

The members slowly turned their attention to him, but it was Henry, who sat on his other side, that asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Who has Heechul’s number? I need to call him,” Eunhyuk scowled, sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed,

“Why don’t you have his number?” Eeteuk asked as he pulled out his own cellular to look up the requested digits;

“He would send me texts in the night saying ‘Eunhae’ and ‘Kibum’s watching you’… so I blocked and deleted his number,” Eunhyuk confessed.

“So why do you need it now?” Yesung inquired, “Have a fanfiction complaint? Are they messing up the truth about your lover, too!?”

Eunhyuk blinked, “I don’t have one! I’m straight!”

Eeteuk smacked him upside the head, “The staff, Hyuk… the staff!”

“Sorry,” Eunhyuk murmured, “But yeah I have a complaint. Because of damn fanfiction I can’t even have a decent conversation with one my sunbaenims.”

“Who?” Eeteuk asked,

“You have a sunbaenim?” Yesung added,

“People actually have conversations with you?” Henry joined,

Eunhyuk scowled at him, “Stop hanging out with Kyuhyun.” He turned his attention to the older members, “Tablo. I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently there’s a ship with me and Tablo… well, long story short, his wife heard about them and Tablo hasn’t spoken to me since!”

“There’s a ship with you and Tablo?” Eeteuk blinked,

“How did his wife hear about it?” Yesung wondered as Henry muttered in mandarin.

Eunhyuk glared, “I have no idea what you said, but I bet it’s something snarky… something Kyuhyun would say.” He looked to the other members again, “Yes and I don’t know… but now I feel like I’m some kind of homewrecker without even meaning to be!”

“You shouldn’t be a homewrecker,” Eeteuk scolded solemnly, “It’s like all those stories of Kangin being with someone else.” He glanced at Yesung, “You know… I’ve come across many stories of you being with Kangin.”

Yesung blinked, “Why would I be with Kangin? He’s not small and cute like Ryeowook. And I’m sure raccoons and turtles don’t get along.”

“You’re… not a turtle… or referred to a turtle,” Eunhyuk commented,

“No, but I have turtles,” Yesung said matter-of-factly,

Eunhyuk blinked and then looked back at Eeteuk, “So, yeah, I can’t even talk to a great sunbaenim like Tablo because of fanfiction writers.”

Henry leaned back in his chair, arms crossed as he regarded Eunhyuk, “Is this why Junsu-hyung won’t return your calls either? Have you gained the wrath of Yoochunnie, too?”

Eunhyuk blinked, “No! We’re just best friends! Yoochun is over-reacting way too much! Besides, I’m pretty sure there are more Junsu-Yoochun stories compared to Eunhyuk-Junsu stories.” He glanced away, “And if he had a choice… I’m pretty sure Junsu would pick me; I have better hair.”

Henry uncrossed his arms to reveal his cellular phone. He held it up to his ear, “Yoochun-hyung? Did you hear what Eunhyuk said?”

Eunhyuk’s jaw literally dropped open. His eyes narrowed, a sharp retort on his tongue when his phone rang. He swiped it up, answering it without looking at the caller’s identity; “Hello? Junsu … Yah! I didn’t say that! I mean… I did but… Henry tricked me! He set me up! He’s not cute and innocent, that’s Ryeowook!”

“Not as innocent as you think,” Yesung murmured as he drew little cartoon turtles on the sheets in front of him,

“I’m not trying to make you and Yoochun fight!” Eunhyuk exclaimed, “What? My blonde hair from when we debut? No I was not trying to copy him! Hello? … Hello? Junsu?” Eunhyuk turned his attention back to Henry who had put down his phone just seconds before, “You! Junsu’s mad at me now!”

“I’m not the one who’s trying to come between him and Yoochun,” Henry stated,

“I’m not!” Eunhyuk exclaimed,

“Or between Tablo and his family,” Yesung added absent-mindedly,

Eeteuk turned in his chair to face Eunhyuk, eyes narrowed, “You wrote all those stories about Kangin with other people, didn’t you!?”

Eunhyuk blinked, “What!? No! I didn’t… I was the one complaining… how… how did this turn on me!? Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be my mother or something? Why won’t you protect me?”

Eeteuk turned his gaze away, “I would never mother a homewrecker like you.”

“Oh sure, you’ll mother Kyuhyun but you won’t mother me,” Eunhyuk threw his arms in the air exasperatedly as he collapsed back against his chair;

“Well, of course. If I didn’t mother Kyuhyun, who would Henry get to play with then?” Eeteuk beamed at the youngest member present.

“I know what will make you feel better,” Yesung said. He held up a piece of paper, “Turtles!”

Eunhyuk opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang again, “Hello? Ah, Jaejoong-sshi… no… no I wasn’t trying to make Junsu and Yoochun fight… No, I… since when have I ever had the influence to make Junsu do anything? I…” Eunhyuk closed his eyes as if in pain as he held his phone to Eeteuk, “Jaejoong wants to talk to you.”

“Me?” Eeteuk blinked as he took the phone,

Eunhyuk dropped his head to the table, “He said he wanted to speak to my mother… I’m assuming he means you.”

Eeteuk held the phone to his ear, “Hello, Jaejoong? Ah, yes, yes boys will be boys. Oh, well you see, it all started when Eunhyuk got it in his head to steal Tablo away from his family. So, he began to moonlight as a fanfiction author …”

“I… I’ve never even written a story in my life,” Eunhyuk murmured weakly to the other members,

“Really? You should have said that earlier. I just text Kibum saying you wrote an Eunhae story,” Henry grinned,

Eunhyuk sighed heavily, “That’s it… in the next sub-group you and Kyuhyun are not allowed to be together.”

“I know, where do kids get these crazy ideas from?” Eeteuk’s voice became dominant in the room again, “… Hmm… oh yes, I do blame it on bad parenting, but what can I do? Kangin doesn’t even acknowledge his own children!” Eeteuk nodded a few times as he locked gazes with Eunhyuk, “Yes, that’s probably where Hyukjae got the urge to break up families… so that his home wasn’t the only one broken.”

Eunhyuk sat up with the purpose of defending himself. However, Eeteuk continued his conversation with Jaejoong and Eunhyuk gave up. As he glared at Henry, he wondered how fanfiction could have ruined his life despite being straight.


(Day 22: feminine!Heechul pt 5)