(Day 6 of the Fanfiction series.)
“Donghae! I can hear him through the wall!”
He could hear movement on the bed across the room from his own. Finally, a head popped out from beneath the thick blankets, a little pony tail sticking in the air,
“Shiwon! It’s three in the morning!” Donghae admonished angrily before allowing his face to fall into his pillow.
“But I can still hear Hankyung through the wall!” Shiwon whined resentfully, “For the past hour, all I can hear is him talking to Heechul!”
“So long as they’re not having phone sex,” Donghae’s muffled reply came from the pillow. “Just knock on the wall again.”
Shiwon sighed heavily as he sat up in his bed and pounded a fist against the wall. Shiwon grew silent and was glad to hear nothing come from the other room. Suddenly, their room was flooded with light as Hankyung, clad in just pyjama pants, stood in their doorway,
“Do you mind?” Hankyung replied,
“Ge! It’s three in the morning! I can hear you through the wall!” Shiwon complained,
“Then you try calming down Heechul when he’s ranting!” Hankyung hissed, one hand clasped over the bottom half of his phone,
“What is he complaining about now? Did it rain and now the humidity is making his hair frizzy?” Donghae asked, turning his head so he wasn’t speaking into the pillow,
“No, he’s – just a second,” Hankyung sighed as he removed his hand from over the mouthpiece, “Yes, yes, this is worse than how you’re always on the bottom. I know… I know… Damn it, Heechul – I know all of this already!” He rolled his eyes as he slid his hand over the mouthpiece once more, “He’s been reading fanfiction late at night again and apparently he’s discovered that every time he’s described they always call him beautiful.”
“But… Heechul calls himself beautiful all the time,” Shiwon blinked,
“Apparently only he’s allowed to call himself that,” Hankyung explained before moving his hand again and speaking into the phone, “Yes, I am listening; I’ve been listening for the past hour. Yes, I understand how this emasculates you; perhaps this is how Eeteuk-hyung felt when he read all those stories about him being our mother?” Hankyung then proceeded to hold the phone a few inches from his ear before calling into it, “You’re right, this isn’t the same thing!”
“Hyung, it’s three in the morning!” Donghae whined before rolling onto his other side, pulling his blanket over his head.
“I told him that! See Heechul! Not only are you disturbing the others in your dorm, but you’re disturbing the members here too! There are thousands of miles between us and somehow – only you, by the way – you still manage to cause trouble!” Hankyung began to scold.
Shiwon watched, sleepily, as Hankyung drew the phone away from his ear again. Shiwon was startled that he could actually hear Heechul yelling, despite being a few metres away from the phone; it wasn’t clear, but he knew it was yelling. He watched, bemused, when finally Hankyung ventured putting the phone back to his ear and stating calmly,
“No, that does not mean I don’t love you,” Hankyung rolled his eyes, pointing to the phone before gesturing with his hand a drinking motion, “It means that the other members might not love you anymore. Now, now, that does not mean that they’re all hairy-backed Neanderthals who don’t realize something good when it’s in front of them… Of course I also think that about them,” Hankyung followed this with vehemently shaking his head in a silent, negative response to Shiwon, “No, I did not shake my head denying this to – how did you know I’m facing Shiwon? Hold on a second,”
Hankyung covered the mouth piece and lowered the phone far from his face. He looked around the dim room, light from the hallway still flooding in. “Heechul’s never been here right?”
Shiwon shook his head,
“That’s what I thought… he couldn’t possibly have set up cameras in here, too,” Hankyung muttered,
Shiwon blinked, “What do you mean by ‘too’? Where does he have cameras set up?”
“Everywhere,” Hankyung stated dryly.
When Hankyung’s eyes darted to his lap, Shiwon had a distinct feeling he knew where Heechul had set up cameras and how much Hankyung was not exaggerating when he said ‘everywhere’. For great measure, he pulled his blankets up to beneath his arms and threw one of his pillows over his lap.
Hankyung sighed, “Well what if I called you beautiful? Will that make the fanfictions seem less offensive then?” He paused and then replied, “No, I am not trying to take control of the relationship by calling you beautiful. I know a man’s got to be a man - damn it… Heechul! I’m a man too! No… No… No, I did not secretly write that fanfiction about you being on the bottom! You know I like it when you’re on top sometimes!”
Shiwon’s face paled as Donghae sat up in bed suddenly crying, “HYUNG!”
“You’re overreacting,” Hankyung said, ignoring the responses of both of his dongsaengs, “No, I did NOT just call you a woman. No – not all women overreact. I… I… Yes, yes, I know Eeteuk-hyung overreacts and that he’s Kangin’s wife, but that doesn’t mean he’s a woman!” He paused, glancing at Shiwon and Donghae, finally taking in their startled looks. He was about to apologize when he exclaimed, “Proof? Fine! Jaejoong! He’s obviously Yunho’s wife, even though neither of them will admit it and he’s far from being a woman AND he never overreacts.” He paused again, “No, Heechul – you were the one who overreacted when he took a bite of your food.” He sighed again, turning and leaning his forehead against the doorframe, lightly banging his head against the solid wood, “No, I did NOT just call you a woman again.”
Suddenly, Kyuhyun shoved into the room past Hankyung, grumpy and not caring he offended his elder. He walked over to the closest bed (Donghae’s) and plopped down, crossing his arms angrily. With his heavy-lidded gaze and mussed hair, it was obvious the young man had been sleeping at some point. The fact that he was wearing just boxers and Zhou Mi, clad in also just his undergarments, came running into the room after him suggested there was a period when Kyuhyun wasn’t sleeping, but neither Donghae, Shiwon, or even Hankyung wanted to observe that more closely.
“What’s going on?” Kyuhyun huffed angrily, “I was asleep and then all I hear is this yelling.”
“Heechul and Hankyung are fighting,” Donghae sighed, leaning his head on the younger man’s shoulder and too tired to do anything else.
“Some fanfiction described Heechul as beautiful and that offended his male ego,” Shiwon explained and then quickly added, “Again.”
“How long have they been fighting?” Zhou Mi asked as he leaned back against the opposite side of the doorframe from the leader.
“Over an hour,” Shiwon muttered resentfully after looking at his bedside clock,
“You’ve been letting this go on for that long?” Kyuhyun asked, startled.
“What do you expect us to do?” Shiwon challenged,
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he abruptly stood up from Donghae’s bed, causing the other to topple forward and almost fall onto the ground. He walked up to Hankyung and grabbed the cellular and said into the mouthpiece, “It doesn’t matter what any fanfiction story says about you, hyung, because the members are most important right? Okay, okay, fine… only what Hankyung-hyung says about you is most important right?” He grinned and that alone should have alerted the four other men to his mischievousness, for then he yelled, “HANKYUNG CALLS YOU UGLY ALL THE TIME WHILE WE’RE IN CHINA!” Then, he pressed the ‘end’ button with a flourish, tossed the phone back to Hankyung, grabbed Zhou Mi’s hand and stormed back to their room.
Having barely caught the cellular, Hankyung slowly raised his eyes to the retreating backs of Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi before they disappeared into their room. Once the door slammed behind the pair, Hankyung returned his gaze to the phone. It remained silent.
Hankyung fell to his knees, cradling the phone before him as if it were some fragile object. Then, he groaned, “He’s going to KILL me!”
Donghae and Shiwon glanced at each other before both falling onto their beds. “Good!” Donghae huffed, turning his back on Hankyung. “Now we can get some sleep!” Shiwon added, also turning his back on the SJ-M leader.
Later that evening (morning?), Hankyung got a text message on his phone. It read:
I don’t care what you think! The fanfiction world thinks I’m beautiful!
And when he began to fret that Heechul was truly angry and their relationship was over, a second message followed almost immediately:
Don’t worry. You’re my bitch for life.
(Day 7: ninja!Kibum)