[00SJ10] The perfect couple

words: 1122
rate: PG13
(Day 10 of the Fanfiction series.)


When Heechul had first created the fanfiction challenge nine days prior, what he never anticipated was the scope of the challenge. It wasn’t that anyone could participate; no, it had to be Super Junior or Super Junior-M members, he made that clear. However, he never expected its influence to stretch so far. So, it was with great surprise and amusement when Hankyung informed him that Kibum had been scolded that day by the managers due to the challenge.

Heechul, who had been playing a video game with Kyuhyun, looked up with wide eyes, “Really? Why?”

“No one knows,” Hankyung replied as he sat on the couch adjacent to the game-addicts, “All they know is that Kibum got scolded by the managers earlier today… and they only know that because Kibum ran away to the dorm to hide.”

Heechul rolled his eyes, “As if the managers would never think to look at the dorms for a Super Junior member…”

“Well, as a result,” Hankyung picked up the dorm phone and held it out to the older man, “Eeteuk wants you to call Kibum and talk to him.”

Heechul blinked, “Why me?”

“Because Donghae called him and talked to him for five hours and apparently even he can’t get an answer out of him,” Hankyung replied.

Heechul gaped this time, “What? Even – PRESSING PLAY WHILE I’M NOT WATCHING IS CALLED CHEATING! – Donghae? This must be serious.”

Hankyung nodded, “Donghae was really worried, so he flew back to Korea this morning.”

Acknowledging something was wrong, Heechul put down his controller and swiped his hand at Kyuhyun’s head. He reached out and took the phone from Hankyung.

…

“Kibum, it’s a call for you,” Eeteuk said, a slight smugness to his expression.

Kibum looked up from where he sat. He had closeted himself into Eeteuk and Donghae’s room, taking up space on the latter’s bed while he was away in China. Kibum accepted the phone and brought it to his ear. The plastic barely brushed his lobe when he suddenly heard,

“THE MANAGERS FOUND OUT YOU TWO FUCK LIKE BUNNIES, DIDN’T THEY!?”

Kibum blinked. He looked at Eeteuk who was staring at him with wide eyes; it was clear the leader had heard the accusation. Kibum sighed heavily as he let his body fall into a lying position, “Hi Heechul.”

“If you don’t tell me what happened, I’ll just keep screaming things at you – THE MANAGERS FOUND YOUR G-STRING, DIDN’T THEY!? – and you won’t be able to stop me,” Heechul’s seemingly innocent voice floated through the earpiece.

“It’s not true,” Kibum directed at Eeteuk before drawling into the phone, “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t hang up now.”

“Oh, come on Kibum! Just tell me what happened!” Heechul insisted, “If you don’t, I’ll set my cat after you, despite the name!”

“Heebum’s actually lying beside me,” Kibum stated and, as if to emphasize his point despite Heechul being unable to see, stroked the smoky-grey cat.

“That bitch,” Heechul gasped,

“Heebum’s a cat, not a dog,” Kibum said.

“Damn it, Kibum. JUST TELL ME!” Heechul exclaimed, “I can’t believe Donghae couldn’t even get it out of you.”

“Yes, well, that jerk is usually chatting online with Eunhyuk,” Kibum replied, his voice taking on a peculiar edge despite still being of a dry tone,

“Ah-ha! It has something to do with Eunhyuk! And Hankyung said it had to do with the challenge?” Heechul asked,

Kibum, as if something lit a fire in him, suddenly sat up. So fast, in fact, that Eeteuk fell to the ground (he had been sitting on the edge of Donghae’s bed). “YES! But I have a question for you, hyung. Why would anyone believe that Donghae, my adorable, dorky Donghae would ever – EVER – choose that ridiculous monkey over me!?”

There was a silent pause from China before, finally, Heechul stated in a contained tone, “Because only you can express your adoration with such a monotone.”

“Damn it, you know what I mean!” Kibum exclaimed, “Story, after story, all I read is ‘Eunhyuk and Donghae this’ or ‘Eunhyuk and Donghae that’ or-”

“EunHae couple?” Heechul offered.

A sound very much like a growl reverberated from Kibum’s throat before he grounded out, “Do NOT ever mention that word to me again.”

“What? EunHae? Or just Eun? Maybe the Hae? EunHae? But Kibum, it’s Eun-fucking-Hae!” Heechul said teasingly,

“Yes… they do fuck a lot in the stories too,” Kibum replied, his voice lowering and his tone darkening.

“I think it’s poetic justice for you two testing the bedsprings while I’m trying to sleep in the same room,” Eeteuk stated, dusting himself off from the floor.

“Kibum, it’s not a big deal,” Heechul finally reasoned from his side of the phone, “We all know you and Donghae are the couple, not him and Eunhyuk. Besides, did Hankyung tell you that Donghae’s flying home just to see you today?”

“Yes, he did tell me. Can we tell the fanfiction authors the truth?” Kibum muttered impetuously, “Perhaps prompt them to write me more in their stories?”

“I bet Eunhyuk secretly writes those stories just to annoy you,” Heechul joked,

“WHAT?”

“I… was kidding.”

“I’LL KILL EUNHYUK!”

Heechul grew silent as he listened to the chaos emitting from the Korea side of the conversation. From the noises he heard, Kibum had made to leave wherever they were, but then Eeteuk had lunged at him to stop him. From that point on, the scuffling and muttered curses led Heechul to believe that they were wrestling and, miraculously, Eeteuk was overpowering the younger member. When he finally heard the phone being picked up again (a soft ‘thwap’ signalled it being dropped in the skirmish), it was Eeteuk who talked to him,

“Why? Why would you even tease him while he’s all angry?” Eeteuk demanded,

“What happened?” Heechul inquired, earnestly interested.

“Well, Kibum got this look in his eye so I had to jump at him to stop from hunting down Eunhyuk and killing him,” Eeteuk explained,

“So what are you doing now to stop him while you’re on the phone?” Heechul asked,

“Oh, I’m sitting on him,” Eeteuk answered simply, “Short of hurling me to the ground from the bed, he’s pretty much pinned down until I let him go.”

“I can’t believe you overpowered him,” Heechul admitted,

“Me and Kangin do other things than what you guys think we do,” Eeteuk said dryly,

“We don’t want to think of what you and Kangin think we think you do,” Heechul countered in an equally dry tone. Heechul grew confused when silence met him. “Eeteuk? Eeteuk? Did something happen?”

All he got for an answer, however, was Eeteuk saying, “Oh… Donghae… Well… this does look compromising doesn’t it?”


(Day 11: feminine!Heechul pt 3)