[00SJ23] The Best Man for the Job

words: 1001
rate: PG13
(Day 23 of the Fanfiction series.)


It was the twenty-third day of the challenge, just eight more days until the damn thing was over and done with and the other fourteen members could treat it as a horrible memory. Since it was already so close to the end and it seemed futile to fight against the inevitable, they all suddenly became more passionate in their endeavours to find arguments against fanfiction.

It was on this day that a complaint was made against Eeteuk’s portrayal in fanfiction. Not by Eeteuk, himself, but by other members.

“Okay, now I know that fanfiction authors are half crazy!” Eunhyuk exclaimed as he and the other members were sitting around the dance studio preparing for a group performance.

“Are you allowed to make another complaint? You made one a few days ago… that’s being a bit selfish, isn’t it?” Shiwon inquired lightly,

“I recall you doing the same thing at the beginning of the month,” Kyuhyun commented lightly as he sat at Zhou Mi’s feet, gaining a hard stare from his hyung.

“But this isn’t just my complaint, it’s one that all of you will agree to,” Eunhyuk insisted as he sat on the window’s ledge, sweeping his gaze amongst the other members who were now looking at him expectantly. “I keep seeing the same thing over and over again, about how Eeteuk is such a good leader.”

“HEY!” Eeteuk exclaimed as all the members burst on in agreement. He lunged towards Eunhyuk, but Kangin slipped an arm around his waist, effectively imprisoning him, “Let go of me! I need to teach this monkey a lesson!”

“He has a point,” Shindong commented lightly, “They do write him to be a saint in stories. I should know, I’ve done it once or twice.”

“Traitor! I’ll find your external hard drive and destroy it!” Eeteuk yelled as he tried to push against Kangin’s hold.

“Is that why Hankyung is the leader for SJ-M?” Ryeowook asked innocently from his seat on the wooden floor beside Yesung.

“I’ll never see you as the cute eternal maknae!” Eeteuk stated angrily as Yesung immediately clasped a hand over Ryeowook’s mouth.

“And why he looked so ridiculous during Don’t Don promotions,” Heechul added,

“I never should have let you start this damn challenge!” Eeteuk growled as he wriggled and twisted, but Kangin’s arm was like a steel band.

“He hogged the spotlight so much during EHB,” Sungmin mildly commented,

“Sungmin! Not you, too!” Eeteuk cried out,

“He’s always trying to get in on our dance routines,” Donghae pondered aloud,

“You’re conspiring with that damn monkey, aren’t you!?” Eeteuk questioned, “You better sleep with one eye open tonight!”

“And he’s always acting like he’s better than the rest of us,” Eunhyuk added. Immediately a chorus rang up from the other members in agreement.

Eeteuk turned desperate eyes towards Zhou Mi and Henry, “You two don’t believe all of their accusations, do you? You both know better than to follow these traitors, right?”

Henry and Zhou Mi glanced at each other from across the room, silently communication with one another. Kyuhyun looked between the two before speaking up, “It’s not Eeteuk’s fault that he ships KyuMin and that he secretly hates Henry’s violin playing.”

“Kyuhyun, why you little –”

“Don’t worry Teukie-hyung, I still like you and I think you’re an amazing leader,” Kyuhyun beamed up at the leader.

“I… was I just complimented?” Eeteuk stopped struggling and looked over his shoulder at Kangin, “By… by Kyuhyun?”

“I would take compliments when you get them. Especially since it seems our children are staging a coup,” Kangin stated dryly,

“Oh, Kangin! You’re acknowledging our children!” Eeteuk turned in his arm and hugged him tightly, “Now Hyukjae won’t have a broken home and will stop trying to break up perfectly happy families!”

“I… was kidding,” Kangin murmured,

“Kangin is finally acknowledging our children, I must be doing something right! You’re all just acting out because he wasn’t being a proper parent, right? Well, that’s not how it’ll be from now on!” Eeteuk insisted as he faced the other members who were watching him with amused expressions, “Don’t worry, I will continue to be the perfect leader I’ve always been!”

Eeteuk began to walk towards the studio’s door, lightly humming a happy tune when Kyuhyun called out to him. Eeteuk turned and looked back at the younger man, “Yes my son?”

Kyuhyun blinked a moment before asking in mock-innocence, “Hyung, just to prove you’re a better leader than they think I just want to ask you a question. Where’s Kibummie?”

“Why, filming of course!” Eeteuk smiled at him, his tone and expression and posture complete confidence.

Kyuhyun smiled back at his hyung brightly before his dark eyes took on a mischievous glint and his smile became more of a smirk, “He’s in the bathroom.”

“He… he is? He… I thought…” Eeteuk stared at Kangin helplessly, “I didn’t even know where my Kibummie actually is? What kind of leader am I?”

“Mother,” Kyuhyun whispered from his seat at Zhou Mi’s feet, “What kind of mo~th~er are you?”

Eeteuk’s jaw dropped, eyes widened, “NO!” He cried, falling to his knees on the floor.

Kangin sighed heavily as he shot the snarky member a glare. He knelt beside Eeteuk and wrapped his arms around the leader, whispering comforting words as the leader began to bemoan being a horrible mother because he had no idea his lovely, talented Kibummie was with them that day.

When Kibum strode into the dance studio, Eeteuk crawled over to him on his knees, hugging his legs, “Kibum, I’m a good mother right? Right? I’m a good mother, say I’m a good mother, Kibum!”

Kibum stared at the leader. He looked up at the other members who were having a very difficult time holding in their laughter. Finally, he looked down at the leader, locking gazes, “Of course you are… but… you’re not my mother.”

For the rest of the dance practice, Eeteuk sat in the corner crying over the phone to Jaejoong.


(Day 24: Love Quindecagon)