[00SJ19] The Real Deal

words: 1510
rate: PG13
(Day 19 of the Fanfiction series.)


“I can honestly say I have no complaints whatsoever about Super Junior fanfiction.”

The Super Junior-M members who were practicing at the dance studio looked over at the member who stated such an unbelievable statement. It was the 19th day of their turmoil caused by the second-oldest member of Super Junior. It was Shiwon to question the statement.

Leaning his hips back against a window sill, one foot propped on the wall, he crossed his arms and raised a thick brow, “Zhou Mi… are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, why?” He smiled brightly at the other man as if he could outshine the sun,

Shiwon glanced at the other members who shrugged. He disregarded Kyuhyun who was shaking his head desperately. He looked back at Zhou Mi who was still grinning like a fool, “You said you have no complaints about fanfiction but… wasn’t it just last week that you were upset because of –”

Kyuhyun practically flew across the distance between them, landing against Shiwon and clasping both hands over the older man’s mouth, “Don’t listen to him Mimi, let’s go practice the dance again, huh?” He looked over his shoulder to his beloved, but it was too late.

The perpetual smile gone and eyes narrowed darkly, Zhou Mi was a dark presence sitting on the ground with the other members. His entire body – lanky, flailing limbs and all – was completely tense, hands fisted so tightly his knuckles were white. Zhou Mi stood up smoothly and quickly.

He threw Kyuhyun a glare, “That’s one thing I’d prefer not to remember.”

“Cool exit, cool exit,” Henry whispered from beside Zhou Mi, looking up at him, “Do a cool exit now.”

Zhou Mi glanced from Henry to Donghae who sat on the other side of him. Both nodded up at him encouragingly. He glared at Kyuhyun again before moving to walk away. He made it one and a half steps before tumbling to the ground in a pile of flailing limbs. Kyuhyun immediately ran to his side while Henry and Donghae burst out laughing as the other members watched in silent amusement.

Slapping Kyuhyun’s hands away, Zhou Mi rolled onto his back to see how he fell. His eyes travelled to his shoes where his laces were tied to one another, restricting his movement. His eyes jumped to the laughing members, “You!”

Henry and Donghae stopped laughing, glancing at one another before looking back at Zhou Mi who was trying to scramble towards them, not bothering to stop and untie his shoelaces. Zhou Mi got close to them before both stated in unison, “Kyumin.”

Kyuhyun’s jaw dropped, hands frozen in mid air on their way to comfort Zhou Mi. The other man’s body trembled as he kicked off his shoes and stood up again. His anger, however, was directed towards Kyuhyun.

“It’s bad enough that there is such a ship in the fanfiction world but even when we are paired up I’m the one always fawning over you! That’s not how it really is!” Eyes narrowed, he stated quietly, his voice like a harsh whisper, “Get comfortable sleeping in your own bed when we’re in China.” With that, he stormed out of the dance studio, the door slamming behind him as he murmured, “I hate fanfiction.”

“Oh my Buddha,” Shiwon leaned his head back against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose in an exasperated gesture.

Hankyung sighed heavily as he stood up, “I suppose seeing it was Heechul’s doing that caused this… it’s my job to go after Zhou Mi.” Hands in his pockets, head shaking, he slowly followed the other Chinaman.

Kyuhyun, who had been watching Zhou Mi leave, turned his gaze to the two SJM members who had tied Zhou Mi’s shoes together. From the ground, he lunged towards Henry, fingers curling into the younger man’s collar, “I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL MAKE IT SO NO ONE WILL FIND YOUR BODY! I’LL MAKE IT SO YOUR MOTHER WON’T BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE YOU!” He exclaimed, shaking him violently,

“WHY – AREN’T – YOU – ATTACKING – HAE – TOO!?” Henry questioned, his words stilted since Kyuhyun was shaking him,

Kyuhyun paused, “Because he’s older than me,” he replied matter-of-factly. Then, he continued to shake him.

“How will his mother even be able to see him if no one can find his body?” Donghae questioned,

Kyuhyun froze, looking over at Donghae. He blinked and then shook Henry again, “WHY DON’T YOU STOP HIM FROM TEASING ME!?”

“BECAUSE – YOU’RE – SHAKING – ME!” Henry argued.

Finally Kyuhyun stopped and hugged the younger man to him, “I just don’t know what I’ll do if Zhou Mi casts me from his bed!”

“Apparently Buddha isn’t listening. I should go back to God,” Shiwon murmured from the window,

“Go with God, hyung,” Ryeowook nodded encouragingly from his stance on the other side of Henry. He looked back at Kyuhyun, “If he does that, just force your way back into his bed. That’s what I do,” he advised as he slowly walked over to another window, peacefully whistling as he did so.

The other members watched him warily.

“AND ANOTHER THING –” The members looked over to the door which was now open and where Zhou Mi stood, staring, “SO NOW YOU GO AFTER YOUNGER GUYS!? First you’re a cheater and now you’re a cradle robber!?”

“They’re only a year apart,” Donghae commented,

“Not helping,” Hankyung called out, standing in the hallway behind Zhou Mi. He sighed as he pushed Zhou Mi into the room so he could re-enter as well, “I’m going to call Heechul. His stupid challenge is starting to annoy me.”

Kyuhyun blinked, looked at Henry who he was still crushing in his embrace before practically throwing him at Donghae as he jumped to his feet, “No! Mimi, it’s not like that!”

Zhou Mi began walking to the other end of the room when Kyuhyun ran after him, jumping onto his back and knocking them both down to the ground, “What was that for? I’m not Shiwon! I can’t just have people on my back like that!”

“Should I be offended?” Shiwon looked at the others.

“Not at all,” Donghae insisted as he went over to Shiwon and proceeded to climb up his back, hanging off his shoulders easily.

“I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP ALONE!” Kyuhyun cried as he tried desperately to cling to Zhou Mi as the Chinaman tried to wriggle away, managing to free one long limb from the younger man’s embrace.

Hankyung sighed heavily; phone held to his ear, “Actually, Heechul, is Eeteuk there? I need some parenting advice. No, I am not trying to be a father-figure to anyone. Yes, I know I would be the mother because you’re the father… are you aware that if Eeteuk and Kangin are our parents, we’re brothers?” He paused, “Can you put Eeteuk on the phone now, please?”

“I’ll tell the fanfiction authors that our ship is the real one,” Kyuhyun insisted as he gripped Zhou Mi tightly,

Zhou Mi looked over his shoulder at him, suddenly stopping in trying to crawl away from the younger man, “Make a site.”

Kyuhyun blinked, “What?”

“Make a site. About us. About the one true pairing,” Zhou Mi stated seriously,

“No, I will not add on by saying O – T – P,” Hankyung hissed into the phone, “Put Eeteuk on the phone already.”

“I’ll make the site!” Kyuhyun promised,

Hankyung spun to face them, “Don’t make promises like that!” His attention swiftly changed back to the phone, “Hello? Eeteuk! Help! They’re fighting and causing problems!”

Slowly, the other SJM members turned their attention to Hankyung who was obviously fervently conversing on the phone. With Kyuhyun’s loosened hold on him, Zhou Mi managed to crawl out from underneath him. He stood, helping Kyuhyun up as his attention focused on the SJM leader.

“Er… no, no… Kangin doesn’t have to come down here and have a talk with them,” Hankyung insisted,

“So does this mean I can sleep with you when we go back to China?” Kyuhyun inquired,

“Oh Buddha,” Shiwon shook his head,

“No, Shiwon, you’re going back to Jesus, remember?” Donghae prompted from his place hanging off of Shiwon’s shoulders,

“No, you won’t make the site,” Zhou Mi sniffed as he walked away back to the other members,

“But Hankyung won’t let me!” Kyuhyun whined as he walked after him.

Kyuhyun, however, didn’t have to walk very far. Zhou Mi, feet clad only in socks, suddenly slipped on the smooth, wooden floors of the dance studio. He fell to the ground, all four limbs waving frantically in the air as he did so. Kyuhyun dropped to his knees by his side, fretting over him.

“Yes, that was Zhou Mi falling to the ground,” Hankyung stated, shaking his head at the scene.

“Henry, want to see something funny?” Donghae called from Shiwon’s shoulders. At the maknae’s nod, he called, “Hey Zhou Mi.”

Zhou Mi, who had gotten to his knees, rubbing his sore elbows, “Yes?”

“Kyumin!” Donghae grinned,

“Eunhae,” Zhou Mi countered.

Hankyung sighed heavily, his head drooping with exhaustion, “Eeteuk says ‘Kangteuk’.”



(Day 20: It's So Obvious)