[00SJ17] Beijing fried rice

words: 966
rate: PG13
(Day 17 of the Fanfiction series.)


“Is Heechul home?”

Shindong and Donghae, who were working on a new dance with Eunhyuk in the dorm’s living room, looked over at the Super Junior leader. Eeteuk sat at the common computer, slowly turning the chair to face his three dongsaengs.

“Um… in his room,” Donghae stated as he turned his attention back to Eunhyuk, “Why?”

“Because I have another complaint for him about fanfictions,” Eeteuk stated,

“What did those sadistic bastards do now?” Shindong asked seriously,

“Well, nothing big, but they really have all these misconceptions about the group. I really wish they wouldn’t write stuff unless they truly knew the truth,” Eeteuk said, crossing his arms loosely,

“What is it?” Eunhyuk asked as he stepped back to allow Donghae to mirror the moves he had just done,

“Well, whenever we have meals at home, or together, Hankyung’s the one who’s always cooking the meals for us,” Eeteuk explained,

Eunhyuk looked over into the kitchen where Hankyung was standing by the stove cooking, “Um… Hyung…”

“Well it’s not like he always cooks,” Eeteuk rolled his eyes, scowling at the cooking Chinaman,

“I have to agree with Eeteuk,” Donghae said as he straightened and stretched his limbs to the ceiling, “Hankyung doesn’t even go near the stove when we’re in China; Ryeowook does all the cooking.”

“I just want credit given to where it’s due and Hankyung’s getting undeserved praise,” Eeteuk stated,

“Hey, I cook all the time!” Hankyung argued from the kitchen, “Just because none of you see me cook, doesn’t mean I don’t do it!”

“Is it sad that I know more about him and Heechul than I do about him cooking?” Shindong asked as he slightly shook his head,

“See?” Eeteuk said, “We’re all getting upset over several things regarding fanfiction, when the truth of the matter is, the authors have all these horrible misconceptions about us! We need to set the record straight and tell the truth – oh! Let’s hold a press conference!”

Shindong shot him a look, “You want to hold a press conference and tell the truth?” Eeteuk nodded vehemently, so he added, “So we’re going to tell the public that Heechul is not a woman, that you are not our mother –”

“ – Shiwon is actually pretty cuddly, Ryeowook is pretty loud in bed –” Donghae interrupted,

“Donghae, please!” Shindong and Eeteuk exclaimed,

“Sorry,” Donghae said and continued, “That Heechul is not a woman – again –”

“ – Kibum is actually always around and Shiwon doesn’t try to convert us all,” Shindong continued,

“ – Hankyung is only faulty in Korean because of Heechul –” Eunhyuk continued on,

“That damn bastard,” Hankyung interjected from the kitchen,

“That it’s actually Kibum and Donghae, not me and Donghae and that Heechul is not a woman,” Eunhyuk stated,

“Again,” Donghae added, “And that Kyuhyun and Sungmin are just roommates –”

“Okay, okay,” Eeteuk held up his hands, “So maybe a press conference isn’t the best way to go… but seriously, the way the writers describe it, all of our nutritional needs are supplied by Hankyung. If the writers are going to assume things, then I cannot allow them to think that he cooks all the time and feeds everyone – Super Junior AND Super Junior – M – I will not allow it! I am NOT a bad mother!”

“Eeteuk-sshi… I thought you hated when writers said you were our mother?” Shindong asked quietly, tentatively; Donghae and Eunhyuk nodded in agreement with his statement,

“BUT I DO NOT STARVE MY CHILDREN!” Eeteuk exclaimed, “If I’m your mother, then fine… but I will not be upstaged by Hankyung’s non-existent cooking!”

“I’m cooking right now!” Hankyung defended,

“He has a point, hyung,” Eunhyuk nodded in agreement,

“Don’t make me ground either of you,” Eeteuk warned, eyes narrowed dangerously,

Hankyung sighed, “Someone call Kangin – Eeteuk is starting to believe the fanfictions again.”

Donghae picked up the phone and dutifully began to dial the designated member’s cellular number. As he did so, Hankyung shook his head and turned back to the stove. He gave the fried rice he was cooking one last stir before shutting off the flame. Grabbing a bowl, he poured the contents into a bowl, grabbed a spoon and headed towards the dining table.

“See what I mean? I don’t see him feeing anyone else,” Eeteuk muttered resentfully as he tightened his crossed arms,

Hankyung looked up from his food, “There’s more on the stove if you want any.”

As if on cue, Heechul came out of his room. Dressed in pink pyjamas, he silently trudged to the kitchen and came out holding the wok of fried rice and a large wooden spoon. He stopped at Hankyung’s shoulder to eat some rice,

“This is really good, Hankyung,” Heechul said simply before he reached over, grabbed Hankyung’s bowl, emptied it into his wok and then disappeared back into his room with all of the fried rice.

“See,” Eeteuk said triumphantly, “He only feeds himself and Heechul. That in itself is bad enough – he’s nurturing Heechul; the only thing worse than that is feeding Kyuhyun.”

“Yeah, hyung, he’s right here,” Donghae walked the short distance to the leader, “It’s Kangin.”

Eeteuk took the phone and held it to his ear, “Yes? Well, if anyone’s the mother, then it’s me damn it!… No! Hankyung is NOT the mother of Super Junior – M! No, he’s not allowed! No! No, I am NOT being petulant! Oh yeah? Well… well… your mama!... You’re right, your mom is a very nice lady; I apologise. But – but – but Kangin! They all started ganging up on me!... Okay… Mhmm… See you in a bit.”

He turned off the phone, tossing it to the nearest couch and shot the other four members a triumphant grin, his dimple making an appearance, “Just wait until your father gets here!”


(Day 18: Think outside the group)