“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Monday, June 9, 2008

[043] Lips He Touched Before

theme: o43. Washing Machines.
pair: Donghae/Shiwon
rate: G
words: 860
#: 10/100

He held her hand as they sat the car. As they drove to her place. As they sat in a silence with an undercurrent filled with his guilt. She had sins, and he knew of them. She, however, was unaware of his. They stopped before her house and she said words of a wonderful evening, and how she hoped they could have another date soon. Before she could slip away, he pulled her close and pressed his lips to her. As the door closed behind her and she walked up to her house, face flushed with embarrassment, he watched quietly. As she disappeared beyond the front door, he put his car in gear and drove away.

He went home the long way, needing to think more. He licked his lips, the feel of hers still fresh on his own. He tasted nothing and regretted the kiss immediately. He had been hoping for… something.

When he got home, he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it, sighing. The kiss had not been his only regret; the entire evening - the entire date was a big mistake.

“Shiwon?” Before he could think for long, he heard his name,

“Eh, I’m here,” he replied quietly as he slipped off his shoes, putting them away as a means to hide the guilt in his eyes.

Donghae peered from around the corner, “I knew it was you!” He grinned, “How’d it go? Did you take a picture together on your phone?”

Shiwon shrugged, “She kept wanting to, but her phone died before we could.”

“I’m still upset that you never told me about her,” Donghae sighed, his expression dropping.

Shiwon, avoiding Donghae’s gaze, brushed past him and went to his bedroom to change in an attempt to get away from the source of his guilt. However, the moment he entered his room, Donghae followed, the door closing behind him. Avoiding him still, Shiwon went to his closet and perused his clothes, thinking of something to wear for bed.

“I hope my girl calls soon,” Donghae said then, quietly as he sat on Shiwon’s bed, playing with a loose thread on the comforter.

Shiwon knew that wouldn’t happen. He had made sure of that. His supposed date was with the same girl Donghae had gone out with just a few days ago. Neither the girl nor Donghae knew their mutual connection to one another, and neither would ever find out. He made sure the girl didn’t think of Donghae once that evening, and - with a bit more work - he would make sure she would never think of Donghae again. He would be his alone.

“She will, don’t worry,” Shiwon replied casually as he pulled off his shirt and changed into a new one.
And when she doesn’t call, he’ll be there to comfort his broken-hearted hyung.
Before he threw his clothes in the laundry hamper, he caught a whiff of her perfume. That wouldn’t have gotten there from just going out to dinner with a friend; no, they would have had to been closer for her scent to rub off on him. Scared of being found out, Shiwon promptly left the room, heading to the laundry room.

Unable to steal away, Donghae followed Shiwon, sitting atop the dryer as Shiwon threw his clothes from that evening into the washing machine.

“I was going to say, your clothes smelled different when you came home,” Donghae commented as Shiwon poured some soap in, “Familiar even.”

“Ah- I used some of your cologne earlier,” Shiwon answered easily - too easily. His lies were becoming too easy, too common - especially when it came to this person beside him. He hated it, but he hated his hyung being with someone else, even more. He would do what he can to stop that from ever happening.

“Oh, is that it?” Donghae wondered trying to sniff at the clothes despite the scented bubbles forming around them, “I guess. So this girl, are you going to date her again?”

“No,” Shiwon said with finality; a slightly harsh finality at that.

Donghae blinked a moment, “Oh? Not your type?” Shiwon nodded, “So what is your type?”

Shiwon paused a moment, then looked up at him, “Smart, funny, sort of a clutz, very cute, has a blank stare, likes skin-ship…”

“It sounds like you already found someone who’s your type,” Donghae commented grinning, “Did you?”

Shiwon shrugged as he grabbed Donghae’s hand and pulled him down, “C’mon, let’s go eat.”

“You just came back from dinner,” Donghae stammered as Shiwon dragged him along,

“I find myself hungry again,” Shiwon replied.

As they rummaged through the kitchen cupboards and fridge, they slowly began accumulating ingredients for what would be a delicious sandwich. As Donghae watched the bread slowly turn brown in the toaster, Shiwon watched him furtively as he sliced tomatoes. He’d continue his work until Donghae was his alone and forever. He had to continue in a fashion most efficiently and covertly so that his hyung would never discover his sins; never leave him. He would do everything as if he were cutting tomatoes with a sharp knife: very carefully.


Hokum said...

You made SiWon so dark here.. and it's hard to think that of him..
now i'm going to look at him differently XD
<3 DongHae!!

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh very nice!! Never saw this side of Siwon in any other fic!! Nice touch. I'd go crazy for Donghae too!!
Great work, deserves a sequel!

misschatelle said...

Ooooh~ Shiwon is secretly in love with Donghae!! *can't help to find it cute, even though the situation is pretty dark* ^^'

I love how you write. Seriously *__*

jarield said...

I love this fic! I love the dark possessive Siwon! He's just made for this kind of stuff... IMO, he's sexier when he's dark... And I love it that this is a SiHae fic... Great writing hope you write more SiHae, you are very good in it...