“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Thursday, June 12, 2008

[070] Behind Elevator Doors

theme: o70. Thunderstorms.
pair: Kangin/Sungmin
rate: PG13
words: 2186
#: 15/100

Sungmin was afraid.

He had grown up fearing few things, even took up Chinese martial arts as a ‘defence’ against things others may fear growing up like bullies or even the monsters in the closet. But no training could have prepared him for the fear he faced now.

Super Junior had just released Don’t Don and their promotions were well underway as they began work on their new album. Everyone had adapted changes to go along with their new album’s concept of a more manly, mature feel. But Sungmin wasn’t sure how he was supposed to adapt to the new change that had presented itself the other day.

Cornered in an elevator, one of his respected hyungs approached him, confessing their feelings to him. Of all the hyungs he may have previously assumed swung the other way, he would have never pegged this particular one as being so. He was manly and strong and no one would have ever expected Kangin to like men.

Ever since the elevator doors had opened on their designated floor and Sungmin had bolted out of the enclosed area, he hadn’t been alone with Kangin. He had wanted to spend at least a week before talking to Kangin about his confession, but apparently he had other plans.

It was a Saturday when Sungmin found himself horrifyingly alone in the dorm with Kangin. He was eating breakfast at the dining table when Kangin finally made an appearance. He brushed past Sungmin, muttering a groggy ‘good morning’ as he went to get food and that alone nearly gave Sungmin an aneurysm. Kangin plopped down in a chair opposite him with a bowl of cereal and began to eat in silence.

As if there was something in the air, Kangin broke the silence, “Stop thinking I’m going to jump you at any moment.”

Sungmin’s jaw dropped at the blunt statement, “That’s not… I don’t… I would never… I’m not even thinking of that.”

“Good,” Kangin replied through bites as he looked up, finally, at Sungmin, “Because if I was going to jump you, it would’ve been while you were still asleep in bed after everyone left.” Sungmin swallowed hard as he braced himself while Kangin continued in a light tone, “There was at least an hour in between when the others left and you actually woke up and left the room.”

“I… I…” Sungmin stammered as he rose, bringing his dishes to the sink, “I… shower… AISH!” He stormed away, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Twenty minutes later, Sungmin was in the bathroom, wiping the condensation from the glass. He ran his fingers through his wet hair as he gazed at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t attracted to Kangin, or as if the idea had never crossed his mind but the straight forward way the situation was presenting itself made Sungmin feel as if there was no other way, felt as if he were suffocating from the thought. He sighed, if he could get a few days away from Kangin and the constant reminder of his feelings, he’d be able to clear his head and think reasonably about the situation.

Apparently that was too much to hope for because just then, the door opened and Kangin came in. As the steam escaped into the hallway, Kangin nudged Sungmin aside as he grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing. Sungmin backed up against the shower’s glass door, terrified to realize that all he had on was the pink towel slung low about his hips.

Kangin finished brushing his teeth and as he cleaned off his toothbrush stated simply, “I’m not going to jump you in the bathroom.”

“You’re not?” Sungmin asked, words full of hope and relief,

“Too many hard surfaces here,” Kangin said as he replaced his toothbrush in its holder, “I’m going out, I’ll see you later tonight.” He headed to the door, taking one look back before he left, “Nice towel.”

And as the door closed behind him, Sungmin was left in a bright flush and he was most certain it wasn’t caused by the steam in the room.

Sungmin, with no schedule that day and nothing to do, sat around the empty dorm all day with no company but his thoughts. He always acknowledged that he was attracted to Kangin, and when Kangin had confessed in the elevator, he didn’t deny that his heart did skip a beat and a smile did want to form. But when he faced the reality of it, the first thing that came to his mind was panic; that’s why he had run away the other day and continued to do so.

He sat on the couch thinking intensely and extensively. He began mapping out the pros and cons of him starting a relationship with Kangin, began predicting what consequences may arise from their relationship and if they split up. He sighed heavily, the last thing he would want was to lose Kangin completely from his life, and he knew that was a high possibility if he got together with his hyung and then later on separated from him.

He jumped at the sound of thunder accompanied by the bell ringing. Sungmin jumped from the couch to the intercom,


“Sungminnie, it’s me, I left my keys in the dorm, let me in,” Kangin’s voice came from the other side.

Sungmin did as requested, left the door unlocked for when he reached their floor, then returned to the couch. He looked briefly outside, surprised to see the downpour occurring, he hadn’t even realized the sky had darkened, let alone opened up for rainfall. Then, he turned his attention to the clock on the wall. He hadn’t even realized how late into the afternoon it was, but what startled him even more was that Kangin had returned so early; didn’t he say he was returning in the evening? Sungmin had assumed he’d return when everyone else was back, why did he come back early?

Sungmin stood from the couch the moment Kangin entered through the door. He kicked off his shoes as best he could. It was quite obvious that he had been caught in the thunderstorm outside. Kangin was soaked to the bone and, considering he was shivering, was cold as can be.

However, despite how much of a drowned cat he looked, Sungmin thought he couldn’t have looked anymore attractive at that point. As he watched Kangin peel his jacket off himself, Sungmin began to wonder if the cons were worth considering at all. Of course there was always the chance that he and Kangin would split and things would get awkward, but there was a chance that it wouldn’t get like that. Heck, there was even a chance that they never split; he hadn’t taken that into consideration before: what if he and Kangin never broke up.

Before anymore doubts could enter his mind, Sungmin closed the distance between him and Kangin. He wouldn’t live the rest of his life on ‘what ifs’. Before Kangin could say anything, Sungmin pushed him back against the door and pressed his lips against Kangin’s. However, Sungmin never got very far before Kangin pushed him away, brushed past him and retreated to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Shaken and dejected, Sungmin retreated to the couch. Silently, he went over the events of the day in his head. Did he do something to suddenly make Kangin forget of his previously professed feelings? Or maybe he was a bad kisser and Kangin couldn’t stand it, despite how he felt. As more clouds entered his mind, Sungmin didn’t mind the light turn off in the dorm accompanied by a bolt of lighting outside.

“Power’s out…” Sungmin muttered as he noticed all of the electronics had cease giving off light or noise.

A silent moment passed with Sungmin continually scolding himself when Kangin appeared from the room dressed in dry clothes. He approached Sungmin, leaning towards him. Sungmin, startled, scrambled off of the couch, but Kangin followed cornering Sungmin against the wall. He planted his hands on either side of Sungmin’s shoulders, moving closer until their faces were mere inches apart,

“I didn’t want you to get wet,” Kangin explained simply as his eyes attempted to search Sungmin’s despite being surrounded in darkness. “Was that for real or because of pity or curiosity?”

Always taken aback by his hyung’s bluntness, “For real,” Sungmin answered, his mouth suddenly going very dry.

“Thank goodness,” Kangin murmured before leaning the last bit more until their lips met again in a sweet reunion.

As the storm raged outside, the storm inside the dorm continued as well as the elder of the two deepened the kiss. Out of instinct, Kangin moved his hands to the nape of Sungmin’s neck, trying to deepen the kiss if that were at all possible. His body on fire and a need of feeling more of Kangin rising, Sungmin put his hands on his hyung’s hips, pulling Kangin flush against him. Kangin put a knee between Sungmin’s legs as he tasted the inside of his dongsaeng’s hot mouth.

Riding on nothing but pure passion, Kangin’s kiss moved from Sungmin’s lips, tracing his jaw line until he continued south, finding the strong pulse in Sungmin’s neck. The younger of the two leaned his head back in an attempt to expose more of his neck to the elder. Sungmin’s body then began to move of its own desires, his hips undulating shamelessly against Kangin as his hands moved to what little hair his hyung had, tracing the scratches.

Feeling the friction Sungmin was causing, a low, feral growl escaped Kangin’s lips. Startled at the sound he had made, Kangin wanted to silence himself, so, in an attempt to do so and to taste Sungmin once more, he brought their lips together in a climatic reunion. Sungmin held their heads close together as their kiss reached depths they hadn’t attained the first time around. Kangin, however, had moved his hands to Sungmin’s, lacing their fingers. He brought Sungmin’s hands above his head, clasped securely against the wall as he pressed their bodies tighter against the wall, bringing their bodies as close together as possible.
Kangin continued to feel the pressure from Sungmin’s hips and groaned into the other’s mouth as he pressed his body even more against the other’s, adding a tinge of beautiful pain to their chaotic pleasure.

Still holding both of Sungmin’s hands in his one hand, Kangin’s other hand roamed down Sungmin’s body and then underneath and up his shirt. Sungmin felt as if his skin was on fire and Kangin’s touch only added to the sweet burn. His body begged for more, actually, Sungmin was close to actually begging.

The words were forming on his lips when the phone rang.

“Leave it,” Sungmin murmured against the other’s lips.

However, when it continued to ring, Kangin got irritated and pulled fiercely away from him and snatched up the phone,

“Hello?” Kangin practically growled,

“Ah - Kangin hyung, I almost thought you weren’t home because it took so long to pick up. I almost hung up,” the other voice said in a light drawl,

“Kibum-sshi? What is it? I was in the middle of something. And next time, after the seventeenth ring - hang up,” Kangin spat bitterly,

“Eh, I’m sorry hyung, really. It’s just that everyone’s over at our dorm for dinner and they were adamant that I get a hold of you and Sungmin hyung so we can all have dinner together,” Kibum explained simply, unperturbed in the least by Kangin’s angry words.

“Fine, I’ll tell Sungmin,” Kangin replied, slamming the phone down before the conversation could continue any longer. He took a deep, steadying breath to control his temper just as the power came back on, the lights illuminating the living room. When he turned back to his companion, Sungmin was sitting on the armrest of the couch, his eyes focused on the ground. Kangin approached him warily, leaning his back against the wall nearby, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “The others are waiting for us at the other dorm for dinner.”

Sungmin nodded, “We should get going so they don’t wait too long, then.” He pushed off from the arm rest and headed to the door.

They slipped on their shoes and pulled on their jackets in a deep silence filled with questions. The left the dorm and headed to the elevator. Before Sungmin’s finger pushed the ‘down’ button, Kangin pulled him to look at him,

“No regrets?” Kangin asked, with worry in his eyes for the first time.

Sungmin tilted his head slightly as if regarding it. However, before too long, he smiled and shook his head, “No regrets.”

Returning the smile, Kangin released him, letting him push the button so they could head out of the building. When the doors opened to an empty elevator, both knew that the moment the doors closed, they would have the chance to continued where they had left off. Sungmin stepped in, grabbing Kangin’s hand tightly while doing so.

He was no longer afraid.


Anonymous said...

Best Kangmin I've ever read!!!
Love the way you wrote the plot. Great lenght too, drabbles dont convey these complicate relationships that weel. Keep up the amazing work!

jishu said...

I love Kangmin!!! and I got a bit irritated at Kibum for interrupting them. XD But oh well~ nice fic!

Phoenix Soar said...


Safa Saifudeen said...

It's amazing! I love the way it's so incredibly hot but still not pointless smut. xx