“What is it like to be in love?”

“Free. It feels free, like there’s nothing that can stop me, nothing can hold me down.
It feels as if I can do anything because of love and I’m free of the fear of failure because,
even if I can’t do everything, at least at the end of the day,
there’s still me and him. When all else fails, love won’t.”

Reign on Me series

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

[087] Unselfish Lover

theme: o87. Belief.
pair: Sungmin/Eunhyuk
rate: G
words: 904
#: 7/100

Sungmin sat on his bed, leaning back on his elbows, his legs stretched out before him, crossed at the ankle. As he lounged there, before him paced Eunhyuk making the billionth pace about the room. Sungmin checked his watch,

“If you’re going to say something, please say it now, I have to leave soon,” Sungmin asked politely yet urgently.

At his words, Eunhyuk stopped in his movements and looked over at him. As determination filled him, he went to Sungmin. Sungmin sat up properly as Eunhyuk kneeled before him. Eunhyuk took Sungmin’s hands into his own as he stared up into his hyung’s eyes.

“We’ve been friends for a long time now, longer than most people. We’ve gotten real close and as of late, even closer than I’ve ever anticipated,” Eunhyuk admitted, fighting the blush that threatened to appear. He held fast Sungmin’s stare, not allowing him to look away even for a second, drawing him into the moment. Sungmin had always been a respected hyung to him, but it seemed recently that his heart wanted to rebel from the norm, that his heart wanted something more than the tight-knit friendship they had formed over the years together.

“Eunhyuk…” Sungmin began uneasily,

“Just listen,” Eunhyuk insisted, and Sungmin complied, allowing himself to ease up, “I’ve been holding all my feelings in for so long, I can’t stand it anymore - I just can’t. When I wake up, the first thing I think of is you. When I eat, I wonder if you’ve eaten yet and what you’re eating. When I go about my daily schedule, all my thoughts are consumed with you - hoping you’re well, that you’re happy, that you don’t face many hardships that day.”
At first he felt as if he were rambling, but then he realized he was pouring out his heart, his feelings solidifying and strengthening each word. And yet as each word left his mouth, it left his heart a little less protected, leaving it out in the open ready for the taking or the breaking. With a deep steady breath, he continued, “And when I go to sleep, I look up to the night sky, see the moon and stars and hope that maybe - just maybe, you’re looking at them at the same time.”

“Eunhyuk…” Sungmin tried again, this time doubt in his tone,

“I know it sounds cheesy,” Eunhyuk replied, knowing full-well that what he said sounded like it came from a drama on the television, but it’s what he felt - so what if he prepared for this by watching several dramas and movies. “It sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth. Now, you can take what I’ve said and interpret it however you like. You can say you never want to speak to me again, that you never want to meet me again - all I ask is that whatever you decide to do from here on after, you at least allow me the honour of continuing to love you."

Before Eunhyuk could continue, Sungmin pulled him into a tight embrace, “Thank you Eunhyuk. You’re right, I thought it was cheesy, but girls like cheesy - and I’m sure she’ll like that.”

“Yes… that’s right. She’ll… like it,” Eunhyuk said as he pulled himself away from Sungmin and crossed his arms almost protectively, “Do you want me to write it down for you?”

Sungmin shook his head, “I remember what you said; I always remember what you say,” he replied as he checked himself out in the full-length mirror. “She’ll like it, right?”

Eunhyuk shrugged, faking calm while his heart and mind raged on, “It’s what I’d say to the person I love… it’s what I’ve said to the person I love.”

“How come you never told me you had someone!?” Sungmin exclaimed, hurt flashing in his eyes,

“The sentiments are one-way. That person likes someone else,” Eunhyuk explained quietly,

“That’s always the problem with girls. They always pine for someone else, never realizing they have a great guy beside them,” Sungmin ran his hands through his hair, “She doesn’t realize what she’s missing out on Eunhyuk - I‘ll envy the person who gets to be with you.”

Shaken by his words, Eunhyuk replied “Shouldn’t you be going soon?”

“You’re right, the school’s a good twenty minutes away and if I want to catch her before she goes home, I better leave now.” He looked at Eunhyuk in the mirror, “I can do this…right? I’m not getting in over myself?”

Eunhyuk nodded, “You’ve waited long enough to confess hyung, and now’s your chance. I… I believe in you, Sungmin.”

Sungmin stared at Eunhyuk’s reflection a moment before turning around to face him and smiling brightly, “Thank you,” he moved to leave, pausing beside Eunhyuk before doing so. He clapped a hand on Eunhyuk’s shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze, “You’re always there for me Eunhyuk. That’s why I love you so much.” He grinned once more, raising his other hand in a fist, “Fighting!”

Eunhyuk watched silently as Sungmin left him alone in the bedroom. He stood still as he could hear his footsteps leading away and, finally, the main door shutting firmly behind him. Eunhyuk sighed heavily as he leaned back against the doorframe, reaching up to his shoulder where Sungmin’s hand had been just moments ago. He could still feel the warm pressure of his hyung’s hand,

“I love you too… Sungmin.”


Anonymous said...

UWAAAAH!!!!! That was so sad.... My heart was actually breaking apart x(!! I'm actually playing Cooking? Cooking! right now because that's how sad I am, I needed a feel-good song T___T

Anyway, fantastic fic. Can't wait to read the rest of your ficcies ^__^!

anticcafe-love said...

Awwww. That was so sad! It made me cryy. Poor Hyukkie.

Sungmin is so clueless sometimes.

tsehqui said...

it's a sad unrequited love for Hyukkie.. XO
nice fic ^^

whatxsarahxsaid said...

*thumps Sungmin on the head* Poor Eunhyuk ;_; But gosh, is he the sweetest thing ever.